Broken Wings
by cute and clumsy
Summary: Bella has a terrible life of abuse, and finds love & friendship in the one person that she never thought she'd find it. More to it than that, that's just the basics. AH
1. Chapter 1 Broken

**A/N - This is my first fanfic, I would appreciate honesty in the reviews if you bother to review. If you don't like it tell me what you don't like and i'll try and improve please (: Thank you.**

CHAPTER 1

I sighed staring down at my trainers. I could feel the rain soaking through my clothes but I didn't look up. _Another day in hell_, I thought miserably. I mentally briefed myself for what was to come and pushed open the front door. I could hear the baseball on the T.V and hoped that Charlie, my dad if that's what you would call him, hadn't heard me come in. I wasn't so lucky. My mum, Renee died when I was seven and I was sent to live with the only family member I had left, Charlie. Inside I was greatful that Renee didn't have to see the monster Charlie had became, but if she hadn't died I wouldn't be here to see it, feel it, and live with it either. Renee had divorced Charlie when I was little, maybe two or three, and I had only saw him for a week or two every summer. Now, Now this was my permanent home. When I first moved here Charlie was 'pleasent'. Well he spoke to me and I spoke back. Everything changed when I turned nine, two years since I moved here. That's when I made a mistake, I spilled some juice on the cream carpet, the purple stain from the Ribena is infact still there, and he struck me. That's when it started. Now almost every day I suffer at the hands, feet and even teeth of Charlie. Personally I think it's because I remind him of Renee, but really I don't know why, I just know that he does it and that he doesn't need a reason. Today was no different, I held my arm on the way to my bedroom and locked myself in. I looked at the area that was sore and I could see a small bruise appearing under the skin. I sneaked to the bathroom as quiet as possible and I changed into a pair of pjymas and brushed my teeth. Once I was safely back in my room I curled into a ball under the covers and cried myself to sleep. This was my routine at night. When my alarm sounded in the morning I jumped, I got out of bed and checked to make sure Charlie was away to work before jumping in the shower and getting dressed. I didn't know which one was worse, being at home or being at school. Either way I had to go to school, this town was small and even something as little as getting your hair trimmed was news. With Charlie being the towns police chief, he didn't miss much, and his only daughter 'dogging' school was something that was certain to get back to him. So after a slice of toast, I braced myself with a deep breath and headed out to my truck. Yes, my truck, my rustic red, worn down, beautiful peice of crap that I loved. I heard sniggers as I climbed out the truck and reached to lock it.

"As if anyone would want to steal that peice of shit!" I heard a familiar voice say. Edward Cullen. I despised the boy, the same as he despised me. Edward was the bully. The player. The big shot. Me? I was little miss nobody that kept to herself. So why do we despise each other? I seemed to be the only girl at Forks high that didn't fall for his 'charm'. He didn't like it, he didn't like it one little bit. It was then he started making my school life a misery. I would have been happy to be alone, I wanted to be alone, just to have some time to myself without worry or fear. I didn't want friends, what's a friend if you can't tell them the truth, can't take them home. It didn't bother me that nobody spoke to me, because I didn't speak to them. Not Edward, he decided to start 'bullying' me in a sense. Childish things like calling me names, tripping me up and spreading rumours. I tried to ignore it, it was better than getting a beating of Charlie, but nonetheless it still hurt. I was human, I couldn't escape it, the emotions were there. The feelings of hurt and rejection came wether I wanted them to or not. Sometimes, only sometimes I wished there was someone, anyone, that I could confide in, that I could tell it all too, but it would only get worse then, it would get complicated and as bad as it is, its easy.


	2. Chapter 2 Surprise

CHAPTER 2

I took my seat in English, at the back, much like any other school day. I was always early for classes, so I sat absent minded staring out the window and tapping my pen on the desk. I heard the faint sound of chairs scraping as other people sat down but didn't acknowledge it. It wasn't till I felt a presence near me and the chair beside me move that I stiffened up. I knew who it was without looking. I could feel the gorgeous green eyes piercing through me. I could sense the cocky grin.

_If the guy wasn't such a jackass I may have even had a slight interest in him. _I thought.

I felt a pain going through my right shin as his foot made contact. "Oops," was all he said.

_Nope, he may be nice looking, but he was, is, and probably always will be .. a jackass._

The rest of the class went by the same way, with a kick here, or an elbow there. I was getting used to it. By the time lunch came I was spent. I didn't even have enough money to afford something as little as an apple. So i sat, as I always sat, alone. I stared at the cracks in the ceiling. I stared anywhere and everywhere, not making eye-contact with anyone.

_Just an ordinary day. Just get through today. Things will get better._

As I made my way to my next class I couldn't help but wonder if things would ever get better. If I was just destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. I pushed they thoughts aside, thinking like that wasn't healthy. I sat down at the back, same as always. I had a strange feeling in my stomach but I tried to shake it off. I _was_ in a home economics class, so it was probably just because I could smell food and hadn't had anything to eat since that morning. Edward came and sat beside me as usual. He couldn't cook, so I had to do both of our work. As much as he meant it to annoy me, and to be something of 'power' over me, secretly I enjoyed it. I loved cooking. Charlie couldn't cook either, and over the years it was something I perfected. If dinner wasn't cooked right, or on time, it was something else for Charlie to take out on me. So i learned. I knew there was a project coming up and I looked forward to practicing my dishes, whatever they may be. The only worry I had was how Charlie would feel to having the same three course meal every night till I was ready to present it.

"As you know class, I have been coming up with a little project for you all to do," Mrs White started, "I would like to try something a little different so I've decided that you will do this project in pairs. I have already partnered you all up, so don't think that you will be working with your friends. Over the next three weeks I would like you to come up with a complex, shall we say, menu. When I say complex I mean something a little out of the ordinary, something you may find in a fancy restaurant. I would like you to prepare a three course meal, and both of you will cook this in class. Yes, both of you, separately. So, both parties will actively participate, I will have one half of the pairs cook on one day and the other half a different day. Any questions?"

"Do we have to work in pairs?" I asked instantly. As soon as the words left my lips I felt a dig to my ribs.

"Yes Isabella you will have to work in pairs, you will spend time at one an others house after school practicing for the exam, in exactly three weeks today one of each pair will prepare and cook the courses you have chosen, the next day the other half of each pair will do the same. Now that's sorted I will read out the pairs."

I switched off then. Charlie wouldn't go for this, having people in our house didn't happen. I could see his reaction now. I knew that I would somehow be to blame.

"Isabella Swan and Edward cullen."

I blinked twice. Edward? Edward and I were partners. With the way my luck was I could hardly be surprised. I was about to speak up. To object in someway, but I couldn't speak up without admiting everything. Even though things are bad, they're bareable. If i admitted to everything that went on, I'd suffer worse, I was sure of it. That's why I bit my lip, I took a deep breath and began to rack my brains of a way, any way, to get out of it. I had to.


	3. Chapter 3 The Beginning

**A/N - Thanks for all the support, nice to know some people are reading my story. If you don't like it tell me and tell me why. It would help me improve lol, also I'm new to this, just read stories on this before tbh, what's a beta? and where can I get one lol ! Pleaseeee Review !**

CHAPTER 3 - THE BEGINNING

_Bringgg! Bringgg!_

I jumped the second my alarm registered with my ears. I instantly regretted it. I could feel the bruises along my rib cage, I could feel the stiffness of my bones. I was in agony. I had told Charlie about the project the night before, as I had expected, he didn't take it well. I had made his favourite dinner, I had made sure everything was spotless, putting in extra effort in everything I did. I thought that may have sweetened him up at least a little. I approached it in a careful way, making sure he knew I had no choice in the matter . It didn't matter though. It was my fault. Everything was my fault.

I lay there curled up in a ball for a little while, before forcing myself to get up and have a shower. The hot water felt good against my rigid bones. I quickly got dressed, well as quick as I could with my new injuries, and I made myself some toast before heading to school.

"You are one lucky bitch." I heard as I was shutting the door of the truck. "You get to come home with me tonight." I resisted the urge to snort. Lucky. If only. I watched as Edward walked away, his face full of mischief. I would be lying if I didn't say I was scared. Scared was an understatement. I was terrified. I'd never been to Edward Cullen's home. The only family member I had met of his was his father, Doctor Cullen. The only reason I had met him was how often I was in and out of the hospital because of how 'clumsy' I am.

_Mum, if you're out there. Help me, please help me. I don't know if I can get through this by myself._

The day went by in a blur. I could feel the stares of Edward's many admirers on me all day. I know every girl wanted to work on the project with him, every girl except me. They were welcome to work with him.

"Follow my car, if you can keep up, sweetheart." Edward said as he walked past. He winked at me before digging his elbow in my ribs and getting in his car. I felt a sharp pain shoot through me and had to stop myself from crying out. I'd managed to compose myself in school. I got stared at and comments were made, the only physical abuse I received was from Edward, well at school anyways, but I managed to keep a straight face. I didn't say anything. I took it. Some people may call me a coward, but I figured it was easy to say nothing, to give no reaction. Maybe I was a coward, but it was easier for things to be predictable than face the unknowing.

I had to speed a little to catch up with Edward. I was tempted to just drive home and forget all about the project, but facing Charlie seemed to be the worst of two bad choices. After a while I pulled up in front the most gorgeous house I had ever seen. It was more like a mansion than a house. It was huge and open and light. I stood staring at every bit of wood, every detail, the gorgeous pink roses in the bushes, everything.

"Shut your mouth unless your going to do something useful with it." I hadn't even realised I had my mouth open, I closed it quickly and followed him inside. If I thought the outside was beautiful, it was nothing compared to the interior. It was glorious, there weren't enough words to describe the beauty. I almost forgot I was here with Edward. Almost.

"You must be Isabella, welcome to our home." I heard a voice ring out. I looked at what had to be Edwards mother, she was beautiful, like an angel.

"Bella," I corrected her. " Thank you Mrs Cullen, I promise we wont make a mess." The angel like women smiled at me before telling me to call her Esme. Esme seemed to be the opposite of her son, she seemed just as beautiful on the inside as the outside.

"Kitchen." I heard Edward say as he pointed to the next room. There were no words to describe the kitchen. It must have been bigger than my whole house. It was spacious and homely and just as a kitchen should be. I took the cookbook I had brought from my bag and started flipping through it. I could feel Edward reading over my shoulder, I could feel him close behind where I had sat down and it scared me. Deep down I knew he couldn't really harm me, not here with his mother home, but it still scared me how close he was, and I felt vulnerable being somewhere unknown to me.

"What are we cooking?" I felt his hot breath in my ear. I jumped. He just laughed and walked over to the fridge. I watched him take out a can of coke and open it up. There was no denying how gorgeous he was, but he was still an asshole. I decided to start with dessert. I went through recipe after recipe before deciding on making a banana caramel pie. I made a list of the ingredients we would need and told Edward what we would be making.

"So, you like pie then bitch." Edward said raising his eyebrows. He said it as a statement rather than a question. I could feel the heat coming from my cheeks before he finished his sentence. I looked down to hide the blush which only made him laugh. "No, I'm just not interested in you." I said. I was shaking as a said it, I didn't know why I felt the sudden need to stick up for myself, butI did.  
"Whatever, we both know you want me, as if I would consider touching scum like you." I felt sick. I didn't know how I was going to cope for three weeks.


	4. Chapter 4 Supermarket Fun

**A/N - Thanks for the reviews guys (: ! Keep them coming (: .. Next Chapter in Edwards Pov.**

CHAPTER 4 – SUPERMARKET FUN

I climbed into Edwards Volvo, feeling very self conscious. I knew we were only going to the supermarket for ingredients, but that was the problem, _we _were going to the supermarket for ingredients. The drive was only five minutes, well with the crazy way that Edward drove, it was only five minutes, but the awkward silence made it seem so much longer. I knew he was as unhappy with this situation as I was. I knew he'd much rather have worked with one of his many sluts. I would have much rather worked on my own. I grabbed a basket and filled it with flour, bananas, sugar, eggs, butter and anything else we needed. Edward just walked around keeping his distance, it was obvious he was spoiled and had never visited the supermarket for messages before. It was clear he was avoiding being seen with me, but I didn't have any money. I didn't know how to ask him, and I didn't want to face the embarrassment of going to the register with no money. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears as I just stood there. I didn't know what to do.

_Don't cry. Do. Not. Cry._

It felt like I had been standing there for hours. "Fucking hell, what are you crying for?" I heard Edward say impatiently. I quickly wiped my eyes, blinking back fresh tears that had began to appear. "I-I-I don't ha-a-ave any money." I stuttered out.

"For fuck sake." He said taking the basket from me. I put my head down feeling ashamed and walked out to stand by his car. "Well, well, well, what do we have hear?" I heard a girls voice. I turned to see Tanya Denali standing with Lauren Mallory. They were two of Edwards many followers. They were actually quite pathetic, worshipping the ground that he walked on. "Edward hates you, you know, you'd never be good enough for him, so whatever you're trying ain't going to work, got that tramp!" Tanya spat in my face. I took a step back instinctively and accidentally set the car alarm off. I could hear Edward screaming curse words on the way out the supermarket and closed my eyes while he made the beeping stop. "Watch what your doing beside my fucking car!" he shouted. He shot Tanya and Lauren a seductive look, licking his lips, before putting the messages in the boot and climbing in the car. I quickly opened the door and jumped in beside him as he sped off back to his house.

My cheeks were still red when we got to his house, but thankfully the tears had disappeared. I think that was the first time Edward Cullen had seen me cry, I was always composed. I prided myself on being composed, I mean you could probably read my thoughts through my eyes, but I never normally broke down anywhere but the comfort of my bedroom, when I was alone. It was there I could truelly let my feelings out, I didn't have to wear a mask, I could just let it all out.

"Right Bit-ella, shall we get started." It was the first time Edward had ever called me Bella. I turned to see his mum standing in the doorway and realised that that was the reason. I took my hoody off as I normally did before I cooked. The gasp was all I needed to realise what I had done. It was all right to take my jumper off at home, Charlie caused the bruises that marked my pale skin, but other people didn't know. "I-I-I-I'm very, um clumsy." I stuttered out. This day was becoming much harder than I even imagined it too be. Esme just smiled at me, I was relieved she believed it. I usually wasn't very good at lying. Edward was eyeing me curiously, it made me uncomfortable. I started taking the ingredients out and preparing the worktops.

"Pizza!" I heard a mans voice call out as the door slammed. "Come get it while it's hot!"  
Doctor Cullen walked in with four big pizza boxes sitting them on the table. "Isabella," he said in greeting, eyeing my arms as he said it. "You need to be much more careful, you're going to end up breaking your arm again." I blushed heavily pulling my hoody back on again. I was told to take a seat at the table as a petite pixie looking girl with short black spiky hair danced in with a large muscular boy followed behind her with a huge grin on his face. They smiled at me before digging in to the pizza, I was told they were Alice and Emmett, Edwards siblings. I wasn't even aware Edward had siblings, I certainly hadn't seen them before. I took a slice of pizza nibbling at it, I didn't tend to eat a lot avoiding as much time with Charlie as I could, and every time I swallowed it hurt. I knew I was unhealthily skinny, but I just didn't have much of an appetite.

We ended up abandoning cooking for that night, and when I got home Charlie had been asleep on the couch. I could smell the stench of beer when I walked through the front door, I tip-toed as quitely as I could up the stairs and locked myself in my room. I lay in bed and for the first time in as long as I could remember, I didn't cry.


	5. Chapter 5 Messed Up

**A/N - Thanks for all the reviews, keep them coming. Forgot to say the disclaimer thing, Stephanie owns the characters, story lines all mine though (:  
should have also pointed out that I'm scottish, so if you don't understand some of the words, sorry (: **

CHAPTER 5 – MESSED UP

**Edwards Pov**

I watched the bitch climb into her piece of shit from the window. I was glad to be rid of her, I could have been fucking Tanya or any of the other sluts at Forks high, and instead I was shopping for ingredients to make a fucking pie. I could hear my dad whispering in the other room, it wasn't like him to whisper. I edged myself closer to the door to listen. I was good at listening in on conversations; I'd heard a lot of juicy shit that way.

"I know he hits her, I just can't prove it, the girl seems so fragile. I don't think she would testify against him." I heard my father's voice ring out. For a brief minute I thought he was talking about me. When I saw the bitch's arms earlier I was shocked, I didn't think I had done that much.  
"He's her father Carlisle and the chief of police, surely he wouldn't harm his own daughter, it must be someone else, she said herself that she's clumsy." My mother responded. So the chief beats his daughter up, I did feel a little sorry for her, but she probably deserved it. She never spoke to anybody, did her work earlier than it was due and she was just too goddamn good. She irritated the shit out of me. "Who else could it be? He looks at her like she's nothing Esme, and that's when he bothers to show up at the hospital at all. It's obvious she's terrified of him, she can't even make eye contact with him."

I sneaked up the stairs not needing to hear anymore. I wasn't completely heartless; I did feel bad if what my dad says was true. Even though I hit her, it was different; he was her flesh and blood. That was a bit sad. I thought back to the supermarket. I had never saw the bitch cry before, even when I tripped her up or dug my elbow to her rib, I hadn't even saw one tear. Then just because she didn't have enough money, the tears were rolling free. She had looked so fucking sad just standing there, I'd never saw her like that before, she walked through school with her head held high as if she was fucking better than anybody else.

"Edward?" My dad called while banging on my door. I pressed the stop button on my cd player that I had turned on when I had entered my room. I mumbled for him to enter and lay back down on my bed. "It's not safe for Isabella to drive home herself at this time at night, I want you to pick her up and take her to school tomorrow, that way you can take her home tomorrow night." He spoke with that don't mess with me tone. I couldn't be bothered arguing with him anyway. I just nodded.

I left the house earlier than normal the next morning. I figured since the bitch was a goddamn goody too shoes she left the house a lot earlier than a normal person would. Her truck was still there which I took it meant she was too. There was also a police cruiser in the drive way, which I took meant chief Swan was home. I saw the bitch look out the window at the cruiser. She came limping out the door looking absolutely petrified as if the cruiser was going to suddenly drive into her. She stopped limping when she spotted me, but I could see the agony on her face. She made no move towards the car, she was standing with the same expression she had had in the supermarket. She kept looking at me and back at her front door, she looked terrified and I didn't want the bitch to start crying again.

"Get in." I said simply. She slipped in the passenger side without saying a word. It seemed cruel taking her to school in the state she was in. I knew she'd never 'dog' it she seemed far too good for that. I suddenly had an idea. I sped the whole way back to my house. She looked frightened but didn't question what I was doing.

_Who the fuck just gets in a fucking car without questioning where the fuck they're going?_

I put my hand on her shoulder trying to be reassuring and shit; she looked like she was going to have a fucking breakdown. She flinched back. I could see the fear in her eyes, she thought I'd hurt her, she fucking thought I'd hurt her. I'd only ever given her a few kicks or a dig with the elbow, I wasn't fucking brutal or anything. "Come on." I said getting out the Volvo and walking towards the house. She followed me without uttering a word; jumping when the Volvo beeped to let me know it was locked.

I explained to Esme in private why I didn't want to take her to school, Esme agreed I had done the right thing and told me she'd phone the school and tell them we were practising our cooking. When I entered the kitchen the bitch fucking jumped again, it was irritating me already. I watched as she prepared all the ingredients to make a pie; a fucking pie. I explained to her why we were here and she seemed happy enough after I explained the school was all right with it.

She started measuring shit. "Measure out a quarter of a cup of flour and a full cup of brown sugar, while I chop these bananas." She told me. I stared at her back, as she had already turned around, with my mouth hanging open.

_She just told me what to fucking do._

I picked up the flour and the cup sitting next to it and poured some in, most of it seemed to land more on the counter and the floor than in the fucking cup. "Shit." I muttered. She jumped and turned round, smirking at me; fucking smirking at me. Nobody smirked at Edward Cullen. I picked up the cup with what little flour was in it and threw the flour over her head. She looked shocked and just stood there staring at me before throwing a piece of banana at me.

"What are you two doing to my kitchen?" I heard my mum ask sounding amused. I smiled sheepishly, while Bella blushed the brightest shade of red I'd ever seen. It was then I saw how ridiculous she looked. How ridiculous _we _looked. I couldn't help but laugh. I could hear Bella laugh as well, it was something I realised I had never heard. Not once.

After we cleaned up, well _she_ cleaned up and I got in the way, we made a pretty fucking tasty pie. I had pie anytime I wanted it, but nothing tasted better than this fucker.

I drove Bella home while it was getting late, she was quiet on the ride to her house, but it wasn't the tense awkward way that it was before, she didn't seem so scared. I pulled up behind her truck and walked around to the passenger side opening the door for her. I saw her stiffening up and her expression changed from calm to fucking petrified again.

_Why do you even fucking care, you don't even like the bitch. Bella? You're calling her fucking Bella, she's just a bitch, why are you being nice to her? Pity, you pity her, that's all it is._

"I'll pick you up tomorrow." I told her. She nodded and walked into her house with her head down. I shook my head getting in the Volvo and speeding away.


	6. Chapter 6 Rock Bottom

**A/N - Review Please (: .. WARNING - If your particularly sensitive do NOT read the end of this chapter!  
Again the characters are Stephanie's - I've simply 'borrowed' them.**

CHAPTER 6 – ROCK BOTTOM

**Bella's pov**

I opened the front door listening as Edward's Volvo sped away. To say I was scared would be an understatement. Charlie hadn't been happy that his dinner wasn't made for him he day before and he was late for work so I had took a hard beating. I felt as if my legs would break beneath me. I was surprised to see Edward waiting as I limped out the house that morning. I knew it had to be at his mother or father's request. They were nice people, not like Charlie or Edward. I was even more surprised when he drove to his house rather than to school. I started to panic wondering what he was going to do with me. I hoped Charlie would be in a good mood since I had made dinner for him and left it in the fridge.

"I'm going away," he said. "It will only be a few days, James, your uncle, will stay here till I come back, he doesn't take any crap either." I didn't know whether to jump for joy or curl up in a ball and sob. I had never met James; my mother had never liked him, which told me it might not be as good as I think. I went to bed after nodding in understanding to Charlie; he didn't like it when I spoke. I locked the door as normal and curled up into a ball, again I never cried.

I was standing in the kitchen waiting for Edward to arrive, when I heard a noise behind me. I jumped, the cruiser was gone, Charlie was gone, which meant..  
"Hello, Isabella." I turned around to see a large man with a long blonde ponytail. He looked harmless but deadly all at the same time. He had a viscous look in his eyes which sent shivers down my back. I heard Edward's Volvo pull up and muttered goodbye as I ran out the door. I hopped into his car and had my seat belt pulled on before he could even say hello. Not that he_ would_ say hello to me. He shook his head and drove, this time to school.

The day went by relatively fast; I got glared at from nearly every girl when I got out of Edward's car. I heard a few comments throughout the day but I chose to ignore them. It was much the same as the day before at Edward's house; apart from the food fight of course. He almost made the full pie himself this time, I helped him when he needed it but he seemed to naturally pick it up once he stopped spilling things.

By the time he dropped me off home I was exhausted. I didn't hear any noises when I slipped inside and took it that James was in bed. I climbed the stairs carefully slipping into the bathroom quietly. I stripped down to my t-shirt and panties and brushed my teeth before slipping into my room. I closed the door and lay on my bed mulling over how nice Edward was being to me. He hadn't hit me since the day he had picked me up and only made an occasional comment. I put it down to the fact we were around his parent's and he didn't want me to say anything.

I heard a clicking sound and it dawned on me that I hadn't locked the door. I always locked the door; always. I was too engrossed in my thoughts I had forgotten. I looked up to see James looking at me. I didn't start to feel the fear until he clicked the door locked behind him. I pushed myself up against the headboard of my bed. I could feel my palms getting sweaty and I was starting to shake. He sat down at the bottom of my bed looking at me with that same viscous stare he had worn that morning. He grabbed a hold of my legs and pulled them so I was lying on the bed. I screamed, not expecting it. He seemed to like this as he smiled and climbed on top of me. I could feel the tears on my cheeks, my eyesight was getting blurry. I wanted to scream but I knew there was no one to help me. He started to kiss me and I tried to pull away, he grabbed my face roughly holding it tightly in his hands. I was sobbing by now, I couldn't help it. This seemed to turn him on. He pushed his erection against me and I jumped. I could feel his hands pulling my panties down roughly and I wanted to push him away, I wanted too so badly but I knew I couldn't, I wasn't strong enough. "You're going to be so fucking tight." I heard him say. His head was between my legs looking at my exposed body. I started to sob harder, wishing for someone to help me, for anyone to help me. He pulled his erection out and I felt it penetrate me. I cried out.

When it was over, he smirked at me before leaving the room, leaving me lying there exposed; ashamed; embarrassed. I locked the door and climbed into bed ignoring the blood, ignoring everything. I lay there sobbing wishing for someone, but no one came. No one would ever come.


	7. Chapter 7 Life Goes On

**A/N - Review please (: .. I own nothing. **

CHAPTER 7 – LIFE GOES ON

**Bella's pov**

I woke up that morning sobbing. I felt dirty and ashamed. I slipped into the bathroom and jumped into the shower, I scrubbed and scrubbed but I didn't feel clean. I made my way downstairs and straight outside. I didn't know where James was but I wasn't taking any chances. I was shaking, and I felt numb.

_Hurry up Edward, please hurry up._

I heard the car turning the corner as the door opened behind me.

**Edward's pov**

I turned the corner to Bella's house. I saw her standing waiting on me. She looked utterly devastated. I had never seen anyone look that fucking broken. I saw a man I'd never saw before leaving her house, he leaned in and whispered something in her ear. She looked as if she was shaking. I stepped out the car and opened the passenger door for her. She practically leapt in the car.

_What the fuck?_

I started driving towards school; she just sat there not saying a word. She looked fucking petrified and I could see tears forming in her eyes. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I pulled the car over at the side of the road watching for her reaction. She looked so fucking lost and vulnerable. "Shit, I'm not good at this shit; um I'll take you back to mine. You don't look up for school." She looked panicked when I said that so I explained to her that I would clear it with Esme and she would clear it with the school. This seemed to appease her as she didn't complain, but then again she hardly spoke at all.

I led her into the house and led her to my bedroom, I didn't really want to take her in there, but it was more comfortable than sitting in the living room. She looked worried about this; I had already explained we had the house to ourselves. She sat down at the edge of my bed looking extremely nervous, I didn't know what the fuck I was supposed to say. I moved towards her, and she cowered away. There were tears running down her face now and she was shaking.  
"I'm not going to fucking hurt you." I told her. She looked as though she didn't believe me, but lowered her arms from her face. She wiped the tears that were now flooding out of her eyes, but they kept coming. I sat down beside her and put my arm round her, I'd never really offered anybody comfort before, I'd never had too.

_What the fuck are you doing? You don't even fucking like the girl._

I expected Bella to push me away but instead she wrapped her arms tightly around me. She just lay there sobbing into my chest. I could feel my dick stirring, feeling the heat radiating from her body.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. Don't get hard, it's not fucking appropriate. It would be so easy just to lie her back and.._

I stopped my fantasy before it could go any further. The girl was lying here sobbing her heart out and all I could think about was sex. Fuck, I was sensitive. I patted her back gently and after a while her breathing started to get heavier. I realised she was asleep and picked her up laying her on the bed properly. I put a cover over her and sat and watched her. She looked beautiful.

_She looked beautiful? Get a fucking grip Cullen. This is Bella Swan. The goody fucking two shoes, who never does anything wrong, she's a fucking snob, and for no good reason._

"Please, don't touch me! Help me, somebody help me, anybody!" She rolled about and gave out a piercing scream before opening her eyes. I watched her take in her surroundings. When she spotted me sitting at the bottom of the bed her eyes widened and her cheeks turned the most gorgeous shade of red.

_Really Cullen, the most gorgeous shade of red? What the fuck is up with you._

I watched her cautiously. Something had obviously happened, and it didn't take much to work out what. I felt out of my fucking depth. I felt really guilty, which just wasn't like me at all. I just didn't feel guilt. Looking at the dejected girl on my bed, I felt so fucking bad for the shit I'd done to her, I may not like her but there was no fucking reason to do half of what I had. She mumbled through an apology making me feel even more like shit. She was apologising to me for falling asleep on my bed. If I was right which I was sure I was she had been raped and apologised to me for falling asleep on my bed. I made her life hell and she apologised to me for falling asleep on my bed. If my father was right which I was sure he was her father abused her and she apologised to me for falling asleep on my bed. Her life was shit and all she could think to do was apologise to me for falling asleep on my bed. I didn't feel like shit, I was shit.


	8. Chapter 8 Changes

CHAPTER 8 - CHANGES.

I slipped out the room quietly leaving Bella sleeping on my bed. She was mumbling shit in her sleep and I felt like I was invading her privacy. When I became so fucking considerate I don't know but apparently I was. I looked around for my father, I had heard him come in so he had to be around somewhere. I found him in the kitchen, reading the paper.

"Dad? Can we talk?" I asked him. He looked at me as if I'd suddenly grew fucking horns or something. I mean, I supposed I never did ask to talk, but still it wasn't that fucking shocking.

"It's about, it's about, um Bella." I said looking for his reaction. I hated the way he could always keep a straight fucking face.

"I think she might have been, um, well I think she could've been, I don't know for sure, but I think she's been, um, raped." I managed to get out. He still looked so fucking calm.

"Oh."

_Oh? Fucking oh? What type of fucking response is oh._

"Why do you think that?" He asked me.

_Why? He's seriously asking me fucking why?_

"When I picked her up for school today, there was a man there I'd never seen before and she was shaking and shit, I mean dad she looked terrified. I've never seen anybody look that scared before, so I brought her here and she like broke down in tears and shit, fell asleep shouting help me and don't touch me."

"Language Edward!" He was seriously telling me about my language at a time like this.

_A time like what? You. Don't. Fucking. Like. The. Girl._

I tip-toed back up the stairs to my bedroom leaving dad to talk to mum. I didn't know what the fuck they were going to talk about that needed me to leave the room, I'm the one that fucking told him what he's going to tell her, but I did it anyway.

Bella opened her eyes the second I walked in the room. It was like I was a fucking alarm clock or something.

"You OK?" I asked her. It was probably the dumbest fucking thing you could ask somebody in her situation, but it was all I had. She nodded and sat up.

"Movie?" I asked her. OK so I wasn't big on the whole talking and shit, but I figured she'd need something to take her mind off stuff. I looked about and found one of Alice's chick flicks. A walk to remember or some shit like that and stuck it in the DVD player. Just before I stuck it in my stomach growled. I realised that neither of us had had anything to eat.

"You want a sandwich or something?" I asked her. She gave me the same look as dad had earlier. I wasn't that fucking bad was I? OK so maybe, just maybe, making something to eat gave me an excuse to go down to the kitchen, and maybe, I would hear some of mum and dads conversation. That was just maybe though. I was out of luck though, there was no one near the kitchen, so I made two sandwiches and headed back upstairs.

I opened the door quietly in case Bella was sleeping. I was apparently now completely considerate. She was sitting up against the pillows looking all shy and shit.

_She's not fucking cute. She's just another bitch._

I gave her a plate with her sandwich on it, and grabbed two cans of coke out of my mini fridge. She looked peaceful watching the movie. Well she looked peaceful until my dad came in.

"Isabella, can you come downstairs please?"


	9. Chapter 9 Home Sweet Home

**A/N - Review (: , Even if you don't like it, it's good to have opinions, any opinions lol.  
This chapter is dedicated to TwilighterMindBodyAndSoul Olympic1340 &  
Thanks for the support guys (: xx  
**

CHAPTER 9 - HOME SWEET HOME

**Bella pov**

I couldn't believe Edward was being so nice to me. It seemed so unreal, I was lying on his bed while he went to make me a sandwich, it couldn't be real. Was I dreaming? I pinched myself.

_Ouch!_

OK I wasn't dreaming. So how did I end up in Edward's bed? Edward Cullen's bed.

_We didn't..? I didn't..? With HIM!?_

I sat up against the pillows as everything came back to me. James. I felt disgusting. I wrapped the cover that was over me tighter, wrapping my arms around my torso, as if that would keep me together. I wanted to sob. I had sobbed. Oh god I had sobbed in Edward's arms. I felt sick. I looked at the time, it was nearing 6 o'clock. I would have to go home soon, I would have to face James. I hated life with Charlie, but James was worse. I didn't think it could've got any worse. I was wrong. I wanted to curl up in a ball and just disappear.

_Mum. If you're out there, tell me what to do. I'm so lost. I want to be with you. How? How can I be with you? Give me a sign._

I needed a plan. I could jump off a cliff. _What if it didn't work? _I could use a knife. _Yeah, because you just love blood. _

My ideas were cut short when Edward returned. He handed me a plate with a cheese sandwich. I could feel my eyes well up with tears at the gesture. No one had made me a sandwich, not since my mum passed away. I blinked back the tears not wanting to show anymore weakness, not to Edward. He handed me a can of coke and it made me smile. It was nice to feel like a normal seventeen year old girl for a change. The film he had chosen was obviously not for him and I was grateful for how nice he was being. I had no doubts that tomorrow he would go back to being a jackass, but for now I was grateful. As I lay there I had no worries, it was like a bubble had formed around me and I was untouchable.

"Isabella, can you come downstairs please?"

The bubble burst. Reality had once again taken over. I felt numb.

**Carlisle pov**

I had listened carefully to everything that Edward had said. It seemed so unlike him to be so caring and thoughtful. Edward was the type to fly off the handle, so to speak. To rush through things without giving it a second thought. In some ways I admired my son, to be that daring and courageous was a gift. In other ways he could be stupid and damn right unthoughtful.

I talked things over with Esme. Things with Isabella were really beginning to worry me. They had worried me for years, but things were getting worse now. I had seen this sort of thing before. Things just didn't go away. I had told Esme over the years the worries I had about Isabella, but I had never had enough proof, I never had enough reason to put a stop to it, not with her claims that she was clumsy, and the millions of different excuses she had fed me. Things were different now. I was well aware that Charlie was her legal guardian. I was also well aware that Charlie was out of town for the week and wasn't planning to arrive home for a few days yet.

After talking to Alice, I invited Isabella down to what I liked to call the 'family room'. I was pleased to see Edward had followed, whether it was to do with him being nosey, or actually taking an interest in something other than his own 'world', I didn't care.

"Isabella. If you'll consider it, I would like you to stay here, at least until your father returns from his trip. I've spoken to Alice and she is more than happy to share her bedroom with you, and loan you some clothes to wear to save you the trouble from picking them up. If you'll accept I would like you to treat this place like your own home."


	10. Chapter 10 Sharing

**A/N - If i don't get at least 10 reviews on this chapter, there will be no chapter 11 (: .. Bad reviews or good reviews either way no chapter 11 without at least 10 (: **

CHAPTER 10 - SHARING

**Alice pov**

I was curious about Isabella Swan. Edward seemed to have a strong dislike to her. My father, on the other hand, seemed to really care for the girl. I, myself, had yet to really meet her. I sat with her at dinner once, but with Emmett gulping down pizza beside me it was hard to really concentrate on anything. I had been warned to stay away from her, as Edward had put it, she was a stuck up 'bitch'. I wanted to ignore him, it wasn't like I listened to anything else he had to say, but I never had the chance to talk to her. She was always with Edward when she was here, and I wasn't going to track her down just to speak to her.

I wasn't stupid, I knew something was going on. Dad was acting different, mum was following dad's lead, and Edward, well Edward seemed to actually give a crap about something other than himself. That just didn't happen.

I wasn't surprised when dad came to me. I wasn't entirely sure what was going on. I had my own theories but I wanted to know the truth. I knew I wasn't going to be told anytime soon, and I didn't see the point in snooping around like Edward would, I'd find out in time.

I had shown Isabella to my room, or 'our' room as it happened to be for the next few days. She did't seem entirely miserable about staying with us, but she didn't seem entirely happy either. I would just have to change that. I examined the girl closely. She was beautiful there was no denying it. I couldn't tell why Edward hadn't noticed. Edward tried to bed any girl as long as she was breathing, hell she didn't even need to be conscious, just breathing.

_What's so different about this girl?_

I was brought out of my thoughts by Isabella returning from the bathroom. She was wearing one of my silk night gowns and looked pretty damn sexy. She looked extremely shy, and I could see an enormous amount of bruising on her revealed skin, but I didn't mention this to her. She looked self conscious enough and I had gathered enough information to know that she had took a beating or two, I just didn't know the extent of it.

I gave her what I thought to be a re-assuring smile. She returned it half heartedly but at least it was an attempt.

_I certainly have my hands full._

"If you don't want to share a bed, I can set up the couch for you." I told her, pointing to the long couch I had in my room. "I don't mind sharing, if you don't mind." She responded. It was the response I expected, she seemed to be the type to try and please everybody but herself. Her response was robotic and I could hear the exhaustion in her voice. It must have been a hard day for her. As much as I wanted to talk, I wasn't completely insensitive.

"You don't go to our school." It was more of a statement than a question, but I answered anyway. "No, I, um, I go to an all girls school." I told her. I didn't really want to get into the reasons and luckily I didn't have to. She was fast asleep. I smiled. She looked so innocent and carefree when she was sleeping.

I heard the floorboards creak outside my room. I pulled the door open fast and Edward fell to the floor.

"Well hello big brother, spying are we?" I asked him. He jumped up off the floor and rattled off excuses about being about to chap the door.

"Can I help you?" I asked him. I hoped he would get to the point soon, I was starting to feel tired myself.

"How is she doing? I mean shit, she's had a hard day."

"As if _you_ care. As if you care about anything but your self absorbed self." I spat at him before slamming the door in his face.

I checked to make sure we hadn't disturbed Bella and climbed into bed beside her clicking off the lamp and shutting my eyes.


	11. Chapter 11 New Start

**A/N - Reviews please guys (: x  
Keep forgetting to say I don't own the characters, but you should all know that!  
If I don't say it I've just forgotten too! Twilight is Stephenie Meyer's creation! **

CHAPTER 11 - NEW START

**Bella pov**

I was woke up with a loud buzzing sound. My eyes were sticky and they felt heavy, too heavy to open. I yawned loudly stretching my arms out and began to attempt opening my eyes. I could see pink, but that was wrong, my room was lilac. I shut my eyes again and opened them slowly. Pink.

_Why has my room changed colour overnight? _

I closed and opened my eyes once more just to check I was actually awake. When I opened my eyes there was a small pixie like girl standing over me.

_Oh Alice! Edward's sister. I was staying here._

Once that had registered with me everything made sense. I couldn't believe how nice Edward's family were being. I mean they had opened their home to me. Me. I was nobody. I didn't deserve there hospitality.

"Up! Up! Up!" Alice screeched. I wasn't even aware that the pitch of someones voice could go that high. I glanced at the alarm clock beside the bed, 6am. I had never been up this early before. I wondered if Edward's parents had phoned James. I wondered if he knew where I was. I wondered what Charlie would do to me when he came home. I couldn't dwell on that though, I had to enjoy the time I had away, even if it meant enjoying being awake at 6am with a pixie jumping up and down in front of me.

I let Alice lead me from the bed into the bathroom. Thankfully she left me to shower alone but not without chapping the door every few minutes to tell me to hurry up. I wrapped the towel that was left out around me and made my way back to Alice's bedroom. I was aware the bruises I wore around my body were on full view but I didn't have anything to hide them with, and I hoped Alice wouldn't say anything. I was going to be in enough trouble staying here in the first place.

"Sit!" Alice instructed pointing to a chair. I obliged. I wasn't exactly going to object with them being so nice to me and everything. I had to admit though I was a little worried, it didn't seem right to be that cheerful in the morning.

"What do you think?" Alice asked me. She was beaming from ear to ear. I stood facing a full length mirror.

_That's not me. It can't be me._

The girl looking back at me had straight chocolate brown hair. She had pale skin and dark chocolate brown eyes glowing behind long black eyelashes. She had the hint of a blush on her cheeks and her lips were shiny with gloss. She had tight black skinny jeans covering her legs and a long sleeved red and white striped top that came down to just above her knees. She wore flat black ankle boots and had red and white beads around her neck. If I didn't know any better I would say she was beautiful.

I felt my eyes well up with tears and blinked them back the best I could, even I knew mascara ran when you cried. I mirrored Alice's smile and thanked her.

"Lets show you off to the family." She said leading me downstairs. I was a little nervous. I'd never dressed up, I'd never had the resources to dress up. I mean sure I did it when I was a kid. Who didn't try on their mothers clothes? Who didn't paint their face with make-up? Since living with Charlie I had never really tried with my appearance.

"Well fuck me!" I heard Edward say as I walked into the room.

"I'm sure she'd rather not!" Alice responded for me.

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it, she just scrubs up pretty well for a bitch."

"SHE has a name, and SHE'S not a bitch!"

**Edward pov**

I nearly choked when my father said that Bella could stay here. I had to admit I was taken aback. I thought he meant she was to stay in my room. Like that would fucking happen.

I wondered if Alice would tell her anything, or if she would ask anything about me. So I thought I'd do some sneaking about to find out. Alice being Alice though caught me in the act. It was like she just knew shit sometimes. I tried to play it off as if I was about to the chap the door but we both knew it was a lie. It was obvious I wasn't going to get any information out of Alice even before she slammed her door in my face.

I couldn't sleep that night. I lay awake tossing and turning but the same image remained in my head. Bella. I could hear her screaming for help still, trying to fight off the man in her dream. I wanted to help her. Wouldn't anyone?

I hit my alarm off at 7:30. I could hear Alice talking in her room, while I made my way to bathroom, and I knew she'd been up for a while. After my shower I threw on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and my Y3 trainers. I smirked at myself in the mirror. I looked good. I always looked good. I wasn't the type of guy to spend hours picking clothes and gelling my hair. My hair did it's own thing and still looked fucking good.

I took the steps two at a time. Emmett was already in the kitchen tucking into waffles. I stuck some bread in the toaster.

"So who's the girl?" He asked me.

"She's just some bitch I've to do a project with, Shits been going down at her house or something and you know dad, trying to save the world one reject at a time and all that crap."

I wasn't exactly lying, I didn't know all the facts. I did feel sorry for her, but that's all it was. Pity.

_Speak of the fucking devil._

I Hoped she hadn't heard what I said, I didn't like the girl but I wasn't that fucking insensitive that I would make her feel like a charity case. She was going to get enough shit as school if word got out that she was staying here for a few days. The bitches I fucked didn't even get that privilege.

"Well fuck me!"

I didn't even realize I had said that shit aloud till Alice started her fucking comments. I was dreading taking her to school today. The girls would eat her alive and the guys, well guys will be guys as they say.


	12. Chapter 12 Attention

**A/N - I meant to put on my last chapter a belated birthday wish for evanescence107 hope it was a good birthday (: !  
Have to give TwilighterMindBodyAndSoul another mention for just being so fantastic (: G'day mate (: Haha  
Okay guys Review. Review. & Umm Review Please (: !**

CHAPTER 12 - ATTENTION

**Edward pov**

I was beginning to get nervous as I pulled up at school. I was getting nervous? That was something that never happened. I was Edward Cullen. The Edward Cullen. I could see bitches like Tanya and Jessica staring at Bella as she got out the car. I suddenly felt very protective of her.

_I felt protective of HER._

She wasn't my responsibility, she was just some bitch who for the moment was living at my house. The day flew by quite fast, I seemed to be getting more attention since word got around about Bella staying at my house. I knew bitches though, they thought they had a fucking chance of staying there since little miss nobody was. They could think again. Sure they were good at what they did, but that was as far as it went.

I walked into the cafeteria flashing my trademark smile at Tanya. She was squirming at the sight of it. I knew that smile made her wet. Tanya was hot there was no denying it. She had strawberry blonde hair, which was nice if you liked that sort of thing. Personally I didn't, I was more into brunettes. She had the longest legs I had ever seen, and the things she could do with her mouth astounded me. Jessica was more petite than Tanya, she had brown hair, but to be honest it was dull, just like her personality. Jessica was a good fuck when I was bored, that's all she ever would be to anyone.

I saw Bella in front of me in the lunch cue, and I had to resist the urge to trip her up. I couldn't do that shit anymore not knowing what I know. I didn't even know what I knew, but I knew something, that was enough.

I watched as she glided across the room.

_Bella was gliding?_

She sat down at _her_ table. She had sat at the same table every day since, well since forever. I watched as Mike went to sit beside her. It was pretty pathetic, he had never shown an interest in her before, not that I gave a shit.

"Growing on you is she?" I heard a voice ask as a long red talon landed on my cheek turning my face around. I gave Tanya a look.

"How about I grow in you?" I asked her flashing her the smile I knew would get me what I wanted. I let her lead me down the hall to the storage cupboard. That was all the leading she would do.

**Bella pov**

I had spent the full day getting more attention than I ever had in my life. My whole life. I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable as Michael Newton sat across from me. I always sat alone.

"So what do you think?" He asked me. I had been so absorbed in feeling uncomfortable I hadn't been listening to a word he was saying.

"I'm sorry Mike, I, um, I didn't hear what you said there."

"I said, how about me and you, go out sometime." He pointed between the two of us as he said the words 'me and you' which in my opinion just seemed completely weird. I had never been asked out before though, so maybe that was how it was done, how it was supposed to be.

When I was a little girl I had always dreamed of prince charming. I had always wanted the fairytale and the happily ever after. I was so naive as a child, and Renee, well she encouraged it. My mother was erratic and hair-brained, but she had a huge heart. I could almost hear the words she would say to me. _"Bella, you are a princess in disguise, and we shall find you a prince."_ Being so young I had believed her. I had believed in a love so pure and true. I believed in horses with carriages and so many wonderful things. I had hoped that one day I would become someones wife, someones mother and that I could pass these fairytales on to my children the way my mother had passed them on to me. I had hoped for love, as I had believed that love was the most powerful thing in the world. When Charlie had started abusing me, I had even allowed myself to believe I could be like Cinderella, and that in time life would get better and prince charming would come knocking down my door. I was wrong. That wasn't reality. Mike Newton and Edward Cullen were reality. Prince charming was a figment of imagination. Whether it was my imagination or some other girl somewhere, he wasn't real, and he wasn't coming to knock down my door anytime soon. That, and that reason alone is why I found myself saying the words I never thought I would say.

"Yes Mike, that would be lovely." He looked stunned. I was beginning to wonder if he really wanted to take me out, or if it was some kind of joke, but he smiled and told me he'd pick me up on Friday.

It didn't take long to spread around the school about our 'date'. I was getting stared at more than usual and it was worrying me. I wasn't sure if Edward would know, but I figured it was highly likely. I was strangely wondering what he thought about it, if he cared, and if so why did he care? If he would like it, or if he wouldn't.

_Why are you thinking about Edward's reaction? It's not as if you mean anything to him. It's not as if you want to mean anything to him. He's a jackass with a nice family! That's all he is. Isn't it? YES! Are you sure? YES!_

God I was arguing with myself. Could I feel any more insane.

_You're just confused. You're not used to the attention._

I repeated they words over and over in my head, but the more I repeated them the less they sounded true. I never was a good liar, even to myself.


	13. Chapter 13 Ignorance Is Bliss

**A/N - Slightly off subject, but I felt this was needed (: Thoughts anyone? Stick it in the review you know you want to write! (:**

CHAPTER 13 - IGNORANCE IS BLISS

**Charlie pov**

I looked out at the lake running a hand through my greying hair. I had successfully ignored my phone for an hour now, I didn't like to be disturbed, not when I was fishing. It was peaceful out here. The water was calm and the sky was blue. Everything was as it appeared to be. There were no complications. Everything was still. Everything was as it should be. Nothing was out of place. It was simple yet complex. It was complex yet simple. It was like looking at a portrait. I chuckled to myself. How profound. A Portrait. Every detail perfect. Yet nothing was perfect. I sighed.

"Hello." I said. I didn't even have the energy to make myself sound annoyed to the person on the other side of the phone. "This had better be important." I told them, " I don't like to be disturbed."

"Does the name Carlisle Cullen mean anything to you?" An unmistakable voice asked.

James. Ah James. My loyal brother. We had been through the best together and we had been through the worst together. We had grew up side by side. We fell in love together. We even lost that love together. We were one person, but two people all at the same time.

"Doctor Carlisle Cullen?" I asked him, though I knew of only one Carlisle Cullen.

"Must be, he, well, he called a little while ago regarding Isabella."

"Go on." I prompted him.

"He said, um, he said that he was keeping her there until you returned from your trip. He said that that was what she wanted, and he was happy to have her staying there to work on a project or some shit like that."

I clenched my fists together tightly. The last thing I needed was people interfering in my business. It was, of course, my business, and mine alone. I told James that was fine and hung up the phone as fast as I could. I hated being bothered when I was fishing. I hated being bothered full stop. I looked back out at the lake. The sky was darkening and the calm I once thought to be peaceful now seemed Eerie. It was disturbing, almost fitting. It no longer seemed as picturesque. It seemed empty. Again fitting. For that was how I felt. Empty. Numb. Void. I thought back to years ago. I closed my eyes and saw every good memory I had flash before me. It was like I was dying, but then that was impossible. I was already dead. My heart hadn't beat in a long time. I wasn't living. I was merely existing.

I thought about the day at the hospital. I was handed a pink bundle. I looked down to see two chocolate brown eyes staring back at me. She was so innocent. My angel. It was like looking at her mother even then, just a more miniature version. She smiled an angelic smile and I felt my heart swell with pride. My daughter. She was perfect. Life was perfect. I didn't see the storm that was brewing overhead. How could I have realized that it was too perfect? I didn't till it was too late. I knew my wife. I knew her better than she knew herself. How could I not see that she would get bored, that she would want to move on? It took three years. Three years for her to get bored of small town life and move on. She had no intentions of taking me with her had I even considered the move. Renee was like that. She was flaky. She was indecisive. She was infuriatingly intolerable but lovable all the same. That was who she was. I knew that when I married her, but I still couldn't come to terms with it. I let her walk out the front door without a word. I was too stubborn. I was too proud.

When I had heard of Renee's death I was torn. I felt a hundred different emotions course through me. Regret. Sorrow. Pain. Anguish. Hurt. Anger. I didn't even think some of the emotions I felt existed. They were truelly mine and mine alone. I stood at the funeral beside a young girl. A young girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders. I hadn't one word of comfort to give to her. I could only share her pain. I watched as the coffin carrying the only women I had ever loved was lowered into the ground. I didn't cry. I didn't shed a single tear. I hadn't then or ever since. I floated through the ceremony like a ghost. I wasn't aware of anything around me. I simply didn't care.

It wasn't till months later I regained my strength. I began building walls around myself. I lived in the smallest of small towns and people talked. I didn't want to be a subject in their juvenile conversations any longer. I picked myself up, so to speak and I carried on with my life. The little girl who was now living under my roof appeared to be sinking lower and lower into a shell though. It was one thing to pick yourself up, but to pull someone up with you was a lot more difficult and I just didn't have the strength. To be honest I couldn't even look at the little girl. She was just a child but she brought back so many memories that I couldn't bear to face. Memories I had long since locked away and never wanted to revisit.

I remembered the first time I had struck Isabella. I had felt so in control. I knew it was just an accident, of course I did. I knew she hadn't purposely spilled her drink on the carpet. She was too young to understand the inner turmoil that was brewing inside of me that day. That day was of course the day that marked the anniversary of her mothers death. She was too young to know this. I suffered alone that day as I had the year before. This day was different though. The more Isabella grew up the more she resembled her mother. It was like a knife was being repeatedly stabbed into my chest and just looking at her face, her gorgeous face, was like the knife was being twisted around and around. It was unbearable. It was agony. It was torture. I had planned to put her up for adoption, but I knew that would have the people of Forks talking. So I tried to pursue other avenues. There were none. I hated the girl. The girl I had once held in my arms with love, meant nothing to me. There was nothing to do but bear it. Bear every ache inside my chest, every shooting pain I felt looking at the face of the women who abandoned me. I wasn't crazy, I knew I wasn't looking into the face of Renee. The similarities between the two were endless though, and even though it wasn't Renee's face I looked into, it may as well have been.

Every time I struck the girl I felt more in control. I felt powerful. I knew she would never leave. She couldn't leave. She was too scared of me to even contemplate such an idea. She would stay with me forever, until the day I died. Nobody would stop that from happening. Carlisle Cullen could be damned for all I cared, she was my daughter. She was all I had left.

I let my eyes once again wander over the lake. I didn't know how long I had sat here. It could've been minutes. It could have been hours. It could even have been a day, I didn't care. Everything was peaceful again. Everything was calm. I stared into the water and finally let my barriers down. I felt the emotion course through me as I sobbed. For the first time since Renee had walked out the door I uncontrollably sobbed. I sobbed for the past. I sobbed for the future. Until finally it subsided. Everything was normal again. It was like nothing had changed, but hadn't everything?


	14. Chapter 14 Accidents Happen

**A/N - Sorry guys been really busy lately (: Hope you all had a good valentines day (: Review (:**

CHAPTER 14 – ACCIDENTS HAPPEN

**Edward pov**

I looked out the big bay windows we had in school. I had just heard that Bella had accepted Mike's offer for a date. Mike Newton. I was a dick and even I was better than Newton. I liked to think I was anyway. Newton was soft. If he didn't have short hair and the faint sign of muscles I could believe he was a girl. In fact I probably would believe it if I was told it by a reliable source. I guessed that must be Bella's type. He was the type of guy that made her heart beat faster. The type to make her pulse race. He was her prince charming.

_Why do you care? Jealous? NO!_

I was brought out of my thoughts with a shrill ringing noise. I removed my phone from my pocket checking the caller id. Alice. Alice never called me.

"Speak!" I said just to annoy her.  
"Edward! Edward help! My friend she's collapsed. I can't get a hold of dad, his phones switched off, there's no one around Edward, what do I do? Will I slap her? But what if that doesn't work? Will I throw water over her? That would just make her mascara run and probably wouldn't work. Edward what do I do?"  
"Calm down Alice!"

I ran out to the car park hopping in the Volvo. It wasn't till I put they keys in the ignition I realized I'd forgotten Bella. I knew she'd have no way home without me. I weighed up my options quickly deciding to run back in and get her. It was shit just to leave her here without a ride. It wasn't till I got into the building I realized I didn't have a clue where she would be. I had never needed to know before. I got half way down the corridor and my instincts told me to check the library. I turned around taking the stairs two at a time. I peeked through the glass in the door not wanting to enter the fucking library if she wasn't in there. I had a reputation and shit to maintain.

I saw her sitting at a table by the window. The little sun that was actually attempting to brighten up Forks that day was shining on her and her alone. It was like she was an angel glowing. All thoughts of Alice left my mind. I was mesmerized. Her longish brown hair had fell into her eyes, I watched as she absentmindedly tucked it behind her ears. I watched her gorgeous chocolate brown eyes light up as she turned the page of the book she was reading. She looked so peaceful and I was going to disturb that peace.

"Bella!" I started as I pushed open the door of the library.  
I could feel the librarian staring at me but I didn't really give a fuck.

_Go say something bitch! I fucking dare you!_

Bella jumped obviously startled that I had came into the library shouting her name. I explained to her as quick as I could what was going on and she followed me to the car. I had to catch her about five times on the way as she kept fucking falling and shit. It was like she couldn't walk without tripping over her own fucking feet.

I started the car and sped to the hospital. I didn't even bother being polite to the receptionists as I raced past dragging Bella with me.

"Dad!" I called as I saw him about to enter the lift. I couldn't be fucked chasing him around the hospital. Luckily he heard me and turned around. He looked surprised which was a weird reaction on him, Carlisle was never surprised. I explained to him what was going on and he rushed away telling us to go home.

When there was no sign of him or Alice at 6pm I started to worry. Alice was sensitive about shit and I was worried about it.


	15. Chapter 15 The Favour

**A/N - Review please (: Kaycee is dedicated to Olympic1340 (: xx**

CHAPTER 15 - THE FAVOUR

**Alice pov**

It was when I was walking back from class it happened. It was the last class of the day and most people were out celebrating what little sun was in the sky. I was meeting Kaycee at her room. She stayed in student housing as she had no family. I bounced along the corridor passing people that were heading out. I knocked on the door and entered as I always did. She wasn't there.

"Kaycee!" I called out thinking she may be in the bathroom.

There was no answer. I knocked on the bathroom door, I was starting to panic now. She knew she was meeting me.

_Where is she? _

I pushed the bathroom door open and there she lay on the floor. I tried shaking her, but she didn't wake. I grabbed my mobile from my bag entering dad's number.

_Please answer, daddy please, I need you._

He never answered. I thought for a moment before dialling Edwards number. I never called Edward. We used to be close, but we weren't anymore. Edward was an asshole, but I knew he'd be there if I needed him. I was his little sister.

I practically screamed down the phone rambling on about everything to him. I knew no one was around as I had passed everyone leaving but I ran out to the corridor anyway. I must have screamed help a dozen times. No one came. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, I was scared. I was terrified. I paced the bathroom floor stopping to give Kaycee a shake every so often.

_Please wake up, please Kay, you're my best friend. I need you to wake up, please please please. Where's Edward? What's he doing? Will he get help? Does he think I'm kidding? He better not think this is some kind of joke. Kay you need to wake up, please. Will Edward get dad? Why is dad's phone switched off? Is he in trouble? Has something else happened? No, he'll have his phone switched off because he's at the hospital. _

A Million thoughts ran through my mind. I felt like I'd been standing there for hours. I wanted to run through the corridors, run anywhere around the school grounds to find someone. To find anyone, but I couldn't leave Kaycee here alone.

I was so close to falling to my knees sobbing when in came dad. He looked at Kaycee lying on the floor before telling me to go out to the car. I wasn't sure what he was doing and if I'm completely honest I didn't want to know. I ran out to the car about to jump in when I realized dad hadn't given me the keys. I tried the door anyway to find it was locked. This only added to my anxiety.

_What if dad dropped the keys? What if he left them in the car and the door locked on it's own? The door locked on it's own? Don't be stupid! What if we can't get to the hospital in time? We will, we'll get there, she'll be ok! She has to be ok._

Forever and a day later dad came out to the car carrying Kaycee in his arms. I reached into his pocket and got the keys to the car as instructed. He laid Kaycee down in the back seat telling me to get in my car and go home. It wasn't till he mentioned it I realized I even had my car with me.

"Dad! I'm not going home, she's my best friend. She doesn't have anyone else. I'm coming to the hospital with you."

He looked as if he was going to argue, but I think he could sense he wasn't going to win. I got into my little yellow beetle and started following dad to the hospital. There were only two thoughts in my mind as I drove.

_Will she be ok? Oh dear_ _I owe Edward!_

I didn't dwell on the second thought. The first was far more important. I parked the car beside dad's but he was no where to be seen. I was only a few minutes behind him so he couldn't have gone very far. I raced into the hospital I could feel my heart beat getting faster and I was beginning to worry about fainting myself.

I was told to wait outside the room in which my best friend lay. I paced up and down while all sorts of tests were being done. There were people going in the room and people coming out. I paced and I paced and then I paced some more.

It was around 7pm when dad finally emerged from the room. He told me that she had fainted because of lack of energy, that she had anemia and needed iron in her body. I started to panic and became irrational.

_Iron? can you buy iron? How much does iron cost? Where do you even get iron? Would she have to eat metal? Can you eat metal? _

Dad stopped me telling me to calm down. He told me about iron tablets and vitamins and it began to make sense in my crazy mind. I was just so worried. Kay was the brave one, the one that helped me out, the one that talked me through my problems. Kay was strong. I let my face brighten into a smile.

"So she'll be ok?" I asked him

"Yes Alice, she will be perfectly fine. I do have one thing to ask of you though, I would like Kaycee to come stay with us for a few days. I don't like the idea of her being alone when she is unwell."

"Oh dad really? You're my hero, Carlisle Cullen to the rescue, saving the day once again!" I all but squealed wrapping my arms around him.

I rushed to my friends side embracing her in a gentle hug as she emerged from the room. She looked pale and unhealthy. She looked weak, it was a big contrast to the strong Kay that I knew. I helped her to my car and explained that she would be staying with us for a few days. She looked genuinly pleased at this, the same way that I was. I just hadn't took into account that Bella was there also.

**Edward pov**

I was about to give up at 8pm. I had been pacing for ages, and Edward Cullen didn't wait for anything or anyone. It was then I heard cars approaching and I saw the headlights shine through the barely lit 'family room' as dad likes to call it. Family room was a fucking joke, it was a living room, to have a family room, you have to have a real fucking family. Our family was more dysfunctional than half of the twisted shitty lives of those you see on fucked up shows like Jeremy Kyle.

Dad explained what was wrong and shit while Alice and her friend retreated upstairs.

"Where's she going to sleep?" I asked.

"Well, I um, I wanted to talk to you about that." He sounded nervous, Carlisle Cullen never sounded nervous. It wasn't in his nature to be nervous, he was a doctor for fuck sake, he was calm for a living.

"I was wondering if you would mind having Bella sleep on your couch." He said as more of a statement that an actual fucking question.

I would have to share a room with little miss goody goody. I tried to think of a plausible argument but even I knew I didn't have one.

I couldn't wait to see her face when she found that out though. Little miss innocent would be sharing a room with me.

She was already sitting on the couch when I entered my room. It caught me off guard, she was shy, she didn't seem the type of person to enter a room without the persons permission first.

_Holy fuck! _

She had on a tiny pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt. She looked so fucking sweet there was no denying it. It wasn't that which made me stare though. Every inch of her was covered in bruises, subtle little bruises. I knew I was staring but I couldn't fucking help the shit, I felt bad, I felt really bad. Her cheeks were turning brighter and brighter red as I continued to stare.

"Someone really fucked you up." I practically whispered to myself, but as her blush deepened I knew she'd heard.

I saw the tears form in her eyes and she was looking at the spot on my bed on which she had lay that morning I had brought her here. I knew what she was thinking and I knew what she needed and for the first time in my life, I thought about her. I thought about Bella. I sat beside her wrapping my arms around her letting her sob into my chest and when she fell asleep I picked her up effortlessly and tucked her into my bed.

I lay that night on my couch staring at the ceiling thinking about the past.


	16. Chapter 16 Acceptance

**A/N - You may love this chapter, you may hate it, but please review, let me know (: !  
Another wee note at the bottom, but you know you love reading them (: !**

CHAPTER 16 - ACCEPTANCE

**Bella pov**

I could hear a shrill ringing noise, but I couldn't seem to open my eyes. They felt sticky and heavy. I felt so comfortable. I just wanted to go back to sleep but the shrill ringing noise wouldn't stop.

_Why hasn't Alice hut the alarm?_

Finally the ringing stopped.

"Thanks Alice."

"Alice?" I heard the voice say. I opened my eyes to find Edward standing over me. I blinked a few times realizing I was in his bed. I couldn't remember getting here, I could only remember sitting on his couch. I could feel my cheeks getting redder as he continued to stare at me questioningly.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "I just um, well I thought that um, well I.." I trailed off unsure of how to finish. "It's ok," He laughed. "I um, do you want to have a shower first?" He asked.

I was surprised, it was unlike Edward to be nice, let alone offer me first go at his shower. It was then it dawned on me that I was in his bed. It didn't seem like Edward to give up his comfortable bed, not for me anyway. I smiled at him and nodded taking the towels he offered me and making my way to the bathroom. I washed quickly and brushed my teeth not wanting to take too long as Edward was waiting.

I made my way back to his room. It wasn't till he left the room that I realized I had no clothes to wear, Alice supplied my wardrobe. I sat there in the tiny towel unsure of what to do. I didn't want to disturb Alice and her friend but I didn't want to just sit about like this, it was getting cold.

**Edward pov**

_She thought I was Alice. She couldn't even remember that I was with her last night. That I held her as she cried. She had to remember that surely. I know I wasn't well ain't the most sensitive guy in the world, especially to her, but surely she didn't think it was just a dream._

I wrapped the towel waiting for me around my body. I couldn't stop picturing the vulnerable girl I had held in my arms the night before. I dried myself off and made my way back to my room dropping the towel as I closed the door. I turned to see Bella sitting on my bed wearing nothing but a towel, a towel that barely covered her. I watched her cheeks redden as she tried to peal her eyes off a certain part of my body that was beginning to stir as I took in her body.

"I-I-I-I sorry!" She stuttered turning to face the other way.

"Don't be, I'm beginning to get used to you blushing and you can look all you want, I should be sorry, I didn't expect you to still be in here."

"I-I-I've been we-e-ea-ring Alice's clothes, I d-d-don't have anything-g-g else to wear."

Fuck she was crying. I was standing here naked and she was crying. The irony was that she was crying because she had nothing to wear and I was the one standing fucking naked.

I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around my waist. I cradled her in my arms letting her sob. I wasn't fucking stupid, I knew it wasn't just because she had nothing to wear or her shyness of asking that she was upset about, that had just added to the emotions already bubbling inside of her. I lay there cradling her in my arms as the tears flowed from her eyes. She looked up at me her eyes gazing into mine. It was like she could see right through me. She looked so innocent, so fucking pure.

_What the fuck am I supposed to say? What the fuck am I supposed to do? I should put some clothes on! What if someone walks in here and were sitting looking all indecent and shit. Well I suppose she has a fucking reason, but if I get dressed she's just going to feel worse. I should go get Alice, Alice will give her clothes to wear and we can get breakfast and go to school. So what she'll just stop crying because she has something to wear? You know that's not the fucking reason she's upset, that just set her off. She's not exactly happy! How do you make someone happy? Fuck sake Edward get a grip! As if you can make the girl fucking happy, all you've done is fuck up her life more! _

She lay in my arms gazing into my eyes as I went through everything in my mind. I was beginning to wonder if I was fucking schizophrenic. I didn't know what the fuck I was supposed to do. I'd never been in this situation before. I fucked girls for pleasure, I didn't sit about for the emotional shit. I didn't do emotions, it just wasn't me.

I could practically feel the warmth of the blush emulating from her cheeks. I knew she was embarrassed. She was embarrassed for being half naked in front of me, for crying, for showing weakness. I had never seen this side of her, she always seemed so strong. I, I was the one who spend most of my time breaking the girl, but I suppose she was already broken, I was just rubbing salt in the wound that was already there. I felt fucking guilty, again. I tucked the one bit of hair that was forever falling into her eyes behind her ear. I could feel my dick stirring even more under the towel, and I wondered if she could feel it. If she thought it were improper, or was glad of the attention. I knew I would never get an answer because I would never dare ask, and she would never tell anyway. I doubt she even noticed, she was far too upset to notice my hormonal fucking instincts. Her towel had ridden up enough that I could see her thighs. I could feel her hot breath on my neck as she sobbed into my shoulder.

I looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes, and it was as if I could see her fucking soul. I tilted her chin up and I kissed her.

**A/N - Don't get your hopes up too much guys, there's still a lot of bumpy roads along the way (:  
review please - too soon? not soon enough? opinions please (: They really do help !!**


	17. Chapter 17 Avoidance

**A/N - Bit of a nutty chapter lol 3 different points of view o: !  
Let me know what you think, beginning to wonder if I should stop writing till people review  
It's good to have opinions, makes me feel like am not the only one reading my story lol !**

CHAPTER 17 - AVOIDANCE

**Bella pov**

I could feel my heartbeat racing. I could feel Edward's heartbeat racing.

_He kissed me. Edward Cullen just kissed me. The boy who used to trip me up for fun. The boy who hates my very existence. The boy who has mutual hatred for me. He kissed me._

My thoughts weren't entirely true. I didn't hate Edward. I had grew to like him somehow, or at least be fond of him. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter and hotter. The tears that had leaked from my eyes were no longer there. All I could picture in my mind was green. Those green eyes that looked so deep into mine before that wonderful kiss.

I didn't like Edward in that way of course, and he had no right to kiss me. I had never been kissed before, well except for James, I didn't know it could be so nice. I had never even had a boyfriend.

"I'll get Alice to get you some clothes." was all he said after getting dressed himself.

_Did I do it wrong? Was I not a good kisser? Of course you aren't, that was the first time you've ever really kissed someone. Edward kisses people like his life depends on it. Why would you think that you could compare to that?_

Once I was dressed I made my way to the kitchen for breakfast. Alice was laughing with her friend Kaycee, or Kay as I was to call her and Edward was sitting eating toast texting with his phone. I poured myself a glass of milk and sat down at the table.

_I wonder what will happen when Charlie gets home. Life wont be so easy. I'm not free, this is just a taster of what freedom is. I'll never be free._

**Carlisle pov**

I stared out the hospital windows. I noticed the smudges and grime that had appeared there but couldn't bring myself to clean them. I rarely got a moment for my thoughts when I was at the hospital. I was constantly busy lately, there were so many patients in and out. So many accidents.

I was thinking about home. I was going to have to buy a bigger house if I kept inviting the wounded to stay, but I couldn't bring myself to leave things alone. I didn't work that way, I stood up for the things I believed in, no matter what the consequences were. I had been taught that as a child and I would carry it to the grave. It was something I tried to instill in my own children. It seemed to have worked in it's own way.

I thought about Isabella and her situation. It was going to be sticky to get her out of it, I had been trying for years but I never really knew how to tackle the situation. Things were different now, she was living under my roof for the time being.

I heard a noise ring out from my pocket. My phone. I always had it switched off when I was in work.

_I must have forgotten._

"Hello." I answered.

"Carlisle Cullen?"

"Um yes, and with whom am I speaking with?"

"Charlie, Charlie Swan here."

The voice had no emotion. It was a call I had expected since the first night Isabella had stayed at our home. It surprised me it took this long. Charlie Swan may not care about his daughter, but she was his 'possesion'.

"What can I do for you Mr Swan?" I asked giving him more courtesy than which he deserved.

"Charlie, call me Charlie, I got a phone call from my brother regarding my daughter, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about or do I need to explain?"

"No, no I'm fully aware of what you are talking about Charlie, if you are checking the well being of Isabella, then she is fine, well as fine as she can be now that she is out of harms way."

"Harms way? What in hells name does harms way mean?"

"I am sure you were not aware that your brother sexually assaulted your daughter, and that is why your daughter is currently vacating my house, but that Charlie, is the case."

"He.. He.. He.. Are you.. Are you sure?"

"I assure you I am 100% positive on that matter."

The line went dead.

**Edward pov**

I had drove Bella to school that morning, neither of us speaking a word to the other. What do you say to the girl you used to enjoy kicking for fun, that gets abused by her dad, has been raped by her uncle, and you've just kissed her while she cried on your shoulder? Nothing.

I spent the day avoiding her. I would stand at the opposite end of rooms, I wouldn't even glance in her direction. Surely she wouldn't tell people that I kissed her. I'm sure I'd get away with pleading insanity. She was Bella fucking Swan. The fucking outcast. Except she wasn't such an outcast anymore, she had a date with Newton, fuck even Tyler fancied his chances with the new Alice barbie doll version of Bella. They didn't see the girl I saw that morning. The girl with no mask. The broken girl.

I knew I could only avoid her so much, fuck she slept in the same room as me now, but I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't know what she was thinking, what she was feeling, what was going through her mind. I didn't really want to know. It was a mistake, kissing her was a very big mistake. I had to say though she was a great kisser. It wasn't even that much of a kiss but her lips had been soft, there was something gentle about the kiss, but it was raw at the same time. I couldn't describe it, even to myself.

It wasn't till I reached the car I realized I was going to have to see her. I couldn't leave her here, I wasn't that much of an asshole. I tapped my fingers impatiently against the steering wheel as I watched her make her way to the car through the rear view mirror. She looked nervous.

"Good day?" I asked her, as she entered the car, trying to be pleasant.

"Um yeah." She said.

We were having a great conversation. The tension was beginning to feel unbearable and I hadn't even started the car. Bella surprised me then, she burst into laughter. It sounded so light, so carefree and I couldn't help but laugh as well. We smiled at each other before I started the car and drove us home.

"So partner." She said as we entered the house. "Shall we start cooking?" I laughed, I had honestly forgotten all about the project. The constant reminders at school were no help, I didn't really pay much attention.

"How about later?" I asked her. She looked as if she was going to argue so I asked her a different question.

"How about we just chill and watch a DVD or some shit?"

She looked as if she was thinking about it before nodding and smiling. It didn't pass me by that her eyes lit up and I wondered if she ever actually just chilled.

I put on some mushy shit. P.S I love you. All the girls seemed to be into it, and Alice it seemed was no different. I went down to the kitchen to get munchies for us and lifted a bottle of Coke as well. I pondered for a moment before lifting two glassed and made my way back upstairs. I pushed open the door and Bella was lying on my bed in the fetal position, her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were stained with tears. Her eyes were glued to the T.V.

_This is going to be a long night._


	18. Chapter 18 Denial

**A/N - Reviews guys please (: They really do help ! I've noticed that people put lyrics on there stories at the start of a chapter so I though I'd put some at the start of this chapter that just made me think of Bella.**

_I'm alone  
on my own  
and that's all I know  
I'll be strong I'll be wrong  
Oh but life goes on  
I'm just a girl__  
trying to find a place in this world  
**Taylor Swift - A place in this world**_

CHAPTER 18 - DENIAL

**Edward pov**

I shushed Bella for about the fifth fucking time that night. We'd just finished dinner which she thankfully got through without bursting into tears.

"He-he-he loved her so-o-o much, he wrote her let-et-etters, and he died." Was all she kept saying every time the tears came.

"For fucks sake." I said, I was beginning to get agitated. That was the last time I put on a fucking chick flick.

"I know." Was all she said obviously misinterpreting my meaning.

_Fucking women! Why do they need to be so fucking emotional! Does she know it's just a fucking film?_

"It's just a film." I told her, just in case she didn't already grasp that.

"I know that, but don't you see, he cares about her so much that he leaves her letters for her to read when he's gone so she wont miss him as much. It makes it that little bit more bearable for her to say goodbye. After that year of letters she has to go on without him though, and all she wants to do is hold on to him. They argued and had fights, but in the end it didn't matter, it seemed pointless to her, and she hated that they had had arguments when she should've appreciated him so much more than what she did. It shows you that life's too short, and that grudges are insignificant in the end."

She burst into fresh tears on the last word. It was the most I had ever heard her speak. It didn't take a genius to work out that she wasn't crying over the film. She was crying because she didn't have anyone to miss her when she was gone, she had never experienced love, all she had in her life was hurt. It was that reason and that reason alone that I continued to hold her close to me and let her cry.

"Let it all out, it's ok, I'm here." I told her.

_Stop being such a fucking pussy, comforting her, you should be banging her or leaving her to get soppy with Alice!_

The minute I thought about banging Bella my dick began to stir.

_Damn hormones. It's not her, it's because you've not had any._

I kept repeating that in my mind hoping Bella wouldn't notice the obvious bulge I could feel. I knew she felt it the moment I saw her face, I wouldn't be surprised if her cheeks burned me they were getting that hot.

_I'm a teenage fucking boy, I'm allowed to get hard occasionally even if it is fucking inappropriate!_

I defended myself in my head not daring to say it aloud. I suppose I couldn't blame her if she was surprised though, I had never noticed her like that. She seemed too snobby, too geeky. If I had actually paid attention at all I might have realized that she was suffering, that the reason she didn't speak to people and paid so much attention to her work was to avoid the pain she already felt. She didn't feel like she could talk to anyone, and I just made it worse for her. I did feel like a monster for what I had made her feel, but I knew what I made her feel was nothing compared to her own family.

Finally she settled down, I let her go to the bathroom first, being chivalrous and shit. When she came back I went and did my thing. When I came back in Bella was on my couch wrapped up in the covers. I laughed, I wasn't that much of a prick that I would make her sleep on my couch. I tip-toed over to the couch knowing she wouldn't hear me, I just prayed she didn't open her eyes before I got to her. When I got to the couch I grabbed her into my arms intending to put her into my bed, but instead she let out a blood curling scream.

_For fuck sake Edward, the girl is sensitive, scared shit less and emotional!_

I didn't think she would have reacted that way, I went from treating Bella like a leper to treating her like a normal girl when she was neither. She was fragile and going through shit that I never wanted to fully understand. She was like an angel with broken wings, she needed some care and shit to make her fly again.

Well of course the whole fucking family heard the scream and came running into my room.

"What the fuck?" Emmett said speaking for everyone. He was rubbing his eyes, we'd obviously just woke him up. I felt bad Emmett was working constant shifts lately as well as being at college. He had knocked up his girlfriend Rosalie, and even though dad would have been happy to help him he wanted to provide for his family himself, so he was working as much as possible to save for a house and shit before the baby was born.

"Sorry," I said as Bella just lay in my arms blushing like crazy. "I scared her, I forgot about shit, everything's cool you can all go back to bed."

"Edward language," My father chided me. "Are you ok Isabella?"

Bella nodded which seemed to be sufficient enough for him and he took my mothers hand and led her out my room. Alice glared at me before smiling at Bella and telling Kaycee loudly that I was an ass while she walked out.

"Just kick him in the balls if he gives you any trouble." Emmett half yawned as he walked back to his room. I didn't think he was even fully awake. Bella seemed to find his comment funny as she giggled in my arms. It was then I realized I was still holding on to her. I dumped her on the bed as if she was a hot potato and then I immediately felt bad.

_I have a fucking conscience now?_

"Sorry." I said. I seemed to be using the word a lot lately. I never used to use it at all. She smiled at me.

"No, I'm sorry, I should have realized it was just you, I didn't mean to scream you just surprised me that was all. I don't feel right taking your bed, I'm a guest here and I know you don't like me and you probably wish I wasn't in your home at all, I know you get comments at school about it. I'm sorry for all the trouble I'm causing in your life, I don't want to take your bed too. Someone like me shouldn't be treated so nicely, you should make me sleep on the floor."

I just stared at her, my mouth hanging open. She seemed to be talking a lot for someone who never used to speak at all.

_She thinks you don't like her, she thinks she's not good enough to be treated nice, not good enough for anything._

I didn't need a conscience to know that shit was plain wrong.

"Bella," I started. I was unsure of the right words to use, I wasn't good at this shit, this was more Alice's forte. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to you in the past, it was wrong. I see that now. I'm a fuck up Bella, that's all I'm good at, it's all I'll ever be good at. Your right you are a guest here and you should be treated like a guest and have my bed, it's the least I can do after all the shit I did to you. Your not causing me any trouble, people can say what they like. I do like you by the way and you deserve to be treated human, you are a person Bella. "Someone like you" What do you mean by that? Your no different to Alice, or any other girl Bella, you should be treated a lot better than what you get treated."

It was the longest speech I had ever said in my life. I wasn't exactly respectful to girls, I was a get my hole kinda guy, but every girl I had been with had knew that. They knew what I wanted, I made it clear to them, they were free to walk away. I didn't like rape, I despised it. It was only cowards that raped a girl, to get power or whatever the fuck reason. I would never do that to anyone. I let them make their own choices, I had never had a girl walk away, Bella was the only exception, but knowing what I know now, I can't blame her. She responded to my speech completely different to how I expected.

"I don't want your sympathy, I don't need it." She pretty much spat the words at me.

_What were you expecting? Her to fall at her feet? _

I blinked at her. She looked so fucking defiant and angry and hot. I didn't know whether to scream at her for taking that interpretation or kiss her for being so damn feisty. As usual I went for the fucked up solution.

I kissed her. Again.

This time however I kissed her passionately. I didn't force myself on her, I gave her a chance to pull away if she wanted to. She didn't. She did the complete opposite, she pushed her tongue into my mouth. I could taste the mint toothpaste she had used. She was infurating, she never did what I expected. She was completely unpredictable. I was now hovering over her on my bed, her arms were tight around my neck pulling me to her. It felt like we had been kissing for hours. I had my arms holding me up but they weren't going to hold for long. She knocked me onto my back. Bella. Bella Swan knocked me onto my back. Her mouth never left me as her small body lay on top of me. I let my hand wander over her stomach, she was so fucking skinny. I could smell strawberry from her hair and I could taste the mint on her tongue. I was completely intoxicated by her. I stopped myself before I tried to go too far, staring into her brown eyes. We lay like that for about five minutes just staring into each others eyes. It was like she could see inside my soul. I didn't like it. She was too innocent to see the darkness in me. She was a damsel in distress. Me? I was a monster always searching for my next prey. She needed a guy like Mike, he was her prince charming. As if she could read me, she let herself slip off me and curled herself into a ball pulling my covers over her.

I wasn't sure whether I should get up and go over to the couch or stay where I was. It was so fucking confusing having to think about what I was doing all the time. I was Edward fucking Cullen I did as I pleased damn the consequences. After battling with myself I got up to go to the couch.

"Hold me?"

It was a request, not a command. It was a request I couldn't deny her of. I had never just slept in a bed with a girl, well one that I wasn't related to. I climbed under the covers and put my arms around her. She adjusted herself to my body and it was as if she just fit there.

_She just fit there? Get a fucking grip. She's Cinderella, your fucking shrek. Well not shrek he's ugly, your more like, well your not fucking good anyway. She's just looking for comfort and all you want is to get your dick wet._

It didn't take her long to fall asleep. She lay peacefully in my arms.

"Edward." She murmured. I was about to respond when I realized she was sleeping. She was sleep talking and she said my name. Was she dreaming about me?

I smiled to myself before letting sleep take me.

**Bella pov**

I awoke to find myself in Edwards arms. I struggled to remember how that had happened when it dawned on me that I had asked him to hold me. He had kissed me again and I could feel things that I had never felt before. I had felt a desire, an arousal. I was ashamed of myself. I should never have kissed him back. I had behaved terribly, he probably thought I would've slept with him just like any other girl. He must've been aware of the effect he was having on me.

_He's the one that stopped the kiss before it got awkward. _

I pushed the voice to the back of my mind.

I yawned and stretched being careful not to wake Edward. The alarm hadn't rang out yet and I wasn't sure what time it was. After glancing at the clock it told me it was only 3:30am. It always seemed to be dark in Edwards bedroom, which I assumed he liked, so I was never fully aware of what time it was without the aid of a clock or a watch.

I knew Charlie was due home soon, and I would have to leave here and go back to "hell". I wasn't sure which day he was due back and if he even knew where I was. I wasn't sure if he would come to get me or if he would just assume I had ran away and leave me here. It was Friday today and I figured if it wasn't today it would most likely be Sunday. I had to admit I was terrified, I wasn't ready to leave the safety I had felt lately. I was beginning to become me again, that little girl who had a mother who loved her. The little girl that had dreams and ambitions. I yearned for that, but instead I had nightmares and no sense of security.

_You have a date tonight!_

I had just remembered about Mike, and I was dreading tonight. I had said yes on impulse and hadn't really thought it through. Mike was Mike, he was no prince, he wasn't even the stable boy. I suppose I wasn't being fair, I didn't really know him, but I didn't really want to get to know him.

I snuggled into Edwards embrace closing my eyes once again. I had never felt so safe, so secure, so comfortable. It was at that moment lying there in his arms, smelling that fragrant honey scent he always seemed to smell of, feeling his muscly arms wrapped around my tiny frame that I realized.

_I love him._

**A/N - Push the green button! The big green button! Type something (: !**


	19. Chapter 19 The Storm

**A/N - Please review guys (: would mean a lot.**

CHAPTER 19 - THE STORM

**Bella pov**

That morning when I woke up everything was normal. Little did I know that everything was about to change. Everything was about to fall apart and there was nothing I could do. There was no sign. There was no warning. The storm had came and the sun had disappeared.

I had went to school that morning with Edward as I usually did. Mike had been making eyes at me all morning. I had wanted to tell him I wasn't feeling well, any excuse to get out of tonight. I didn't know at that point that I had an excuse, just one that I didn't want. It was in English when it happened.

"Could Isabella Swan please report to the main office please!"

I had never been called to the main office before. I froze in my seat. The teacher excused me and I made my way to the office. I took my bag with me as instructed as the class was almost over. I felt everyone stare at me as I left the room. I could feel Tanya's glares all the way out the room, I knew she was upset because I was living at Edwards house and she had never been asked to stay there despite the amount of times she had been with him.

I stepped into the main office unsure of what I was supposed to do. I didn't have to wait long for standing there right in front of me was none other than my father. I felt numb. I was froze on the spot. I wasn't sure how I was still standing, my knees felt weak. I could hear people talking but the words weren't making sense. Nothing was making sense.

"Bella sweety, There's been an accident, you have to come home just now."

_Sweety?_

My father had never once called anything endearing in my life, not that I could remember anyway. He took my arm and led me back to my life of misery.

**Carlisle pov**

I was starting to get tired. I had drank three cups of coffee already and it was still before noon. I had been really stressed lately, there had been so many accidents happen and it appeared that another one just had. I really couldn't be bothered any more I wanted to go home to my wife. I hadn't had one day off lately. I had been working constantly which didn't used to bother me but I was so stressed out with the way the current situation was.

I made my way to the lift down to see my new patient. As far as I knew he was a 47 year old man that had a concussion, three broken ribs and a broken knee cap. I knew it had to be something tied to organised crime or something. I wasn't exactly sure how things like that worked, but I knew enough to know that this was no accident.

I made my way into the room and looked at the chart at the bottom of the mans bed. The man looked quite familiar but I couldn't place him. I looked at the name on the chart it read James Swan.

_James Swan._

I liked to think I wasn't a stupid man, and that I had grew wise over the years. I took this to mean that Isabella's father had returned. I was out of time. I didn't have a plan of action, I wasn't ready for this. I was going to have to 'wing' it, it was something I had never had to do over the years. I took time to assess every situation, to get facts, to work every move out. I couldn't jump into things without thinking it through, without weighing up the pros and cons. It was something Edward continuously failed at. Edward jumped into every situation consequences be damned, that was the way my son was. Alice was a little more level headed but a lot more eccentric and tended to avoid any type of bad situation in the first place. Emmett, Emmett tended to think about things logically and wind up in the stickiest situations anyway.

I wondered if Charlie had already gotten to Isabella, if he had already taken her home, if he had beaten her. If he had just left her alone not wanting to know anymore as she had somewhere else to go. I knew that he had done this to his brother. That was obvious, so he was definitely home from his trip.

I picked up the phone and dialled Edwards number, I knew it was lunch time so he would be able to answer his phone.

**Edward pov**

I made my way to the cafeteria looking around for Bella. I had been buying her lunch lately as I knew she had no money to purchase her own and she was so skinny I was surprised she wasn't fadingaway. I was sure I would see her at my next class, we had home economics after lunch and Bella never missed any of her classes. I was dreading the class, we hadn't being doing much practising at all and we were due to cook the shit in two weeks. I just couldn't be fucked it seemed a waste of time to me.

My phone started vibrating in my pocket, nobody tended to call me at school. Alice had called me once but most people that call me were with me. I looked at the i.d telling me that it was dad. Dad never tended to call me unless it was important.

I answered the call trying to gauge how he sounded. I hadn't done anything bad lately that I knew of, hadn't pissed anybody off in a while. He sounded so unlike my father, the calmness was there but I could hear the worry and tiredness behind it. Dad had been working extra shifts at the hospital, there were so many accidents happening and he was tired all the time. I felt kinda bad for him, I mean it wasn't my fucking fault or anything and I didn't feel guilty, but it just didn't seem right for him to have to work so much. All he seemed to want to talk about was Bella and I told him about her name getting called over the tannoy, I wondered if maybe _she _had done something bad.

_Don't be fucking__daft, she's innocent and pure, she wouldn't do that. Fucking virgin._

It wasn't till i thought the last words that I realized they weren't true. I immediately felt bad, that shit was nasty and I liked to think I wasn't all that bad.

He explained about James being in hospital and her father possibly being back. The minute I heard his theory I knew he was right. I just wasn't sure what to do about it. Dad told me not to act on it, but I couldn't help it, I had to do something I couldn't just leave her to get abused.

Could I?

**Bella pov**

I got into the police cruiser without a fuss. I didn't want to make a scene as that would've just made things worse. I expected him to lash out as soon as he was in the car but I suppose that wasn't his style. Charlie had always liked to lull me in to a false sense of security before the beating began. He liked to make me sweat. Make me feel the fear. I was feeling it. I was terrified. I felt as though I would be shaking if I could. I was numb. He pulled the car up to this. I wondered if James was still there or if he had left. I wondered if Charlie even knew what had happened with James and why I was with the Cullen's. I wondered if he even knew I had been with the Cullen's.

The look on his face was telling me he knew. He looked angry behind the calm mask he was showing. I had learned to read Charlie over the years. I could see behind the front he put up for everyone else. I could read the emotions floating under the mask. He was pissed! It didn't look like it was going to be a good night for me. I wanted Edward, he made me feel so safe, so comfortable, so secure. It was something I hadn't felt since my mum was alive. I welcomed the feelings, they made me feel whole. I had had a hole in my chest since my mum died and that hadn't healed, it would never heal. It had slowly started to get better when I was with the Cullen's. I started to feel like part of a real family, but now, now everything was back to normal. I was back in hell and there was nothing anybody could do about. Nothing anyone could do to help.

I got out of the car slowly. I was anxious, I was nauseous and I didn't know how my legs were keeping me up I could hardly feel them. I opened up the door and entered the house. I felt like I hadn't been here in years. I appreciated what the Cullen's had done for me, even Edward. I now fully understood the meaning of the phrase "you don't know what you've got till it's gone." I didn't fully appreciate what the Cullen's had done for me till now, till it was too late, till the happiness was gone. I heard the door click shut behind me, I was locked in and I had nowhere to go. I knew I didn't have the strength to run even if I wanted to, I would only trip over my own feet if I did anyways. I contemplated screaming but no one had heard me before and no one would come. I was completely alone and there was no one there to save me.

I turned to face him, I wanted to act strong. Inside I was a mess, a wreck. I looked into the eyes of the man that haunted me. I saw nothing. They were empty. His eyes were cold and hard and unfeeling. It made me feel even more nauseous, and more uneasy than ever. He didn't speak a word, nor did I. I didn't know what to say even if I could have spoke. I felt too numb to even think. He just stood there, staring. It was making me nervous. I was invisible to Charlie unless I was getting a beating. I wished he would just hit me, the staring was just making me feel worse.

"James, he raped you." It was a statement, not a question but I nodded anyway. I nodded slowly looking for any signs of Irritation. His face was blank as though he was lost in thought. It made me think about that night, I felt as if I was reliving it, I felt the same fear.

"My own brother touched my property without my permission." Again it was a statement, not a question but this time I didn't nod. I didn't have to.

_His property? his possession ? Of course, that's all I am, all I ever would be._

I wasn't his daughter, I was someone who lived under his roof, someone for him to kick around and collect benefits for. I could feel tears prick at my eyes but I wasn't going to cry, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He didn't deserve it. I felt a sharp pain at my jaw and my legs finally stopped holding me up. I closed my eyes tightly and I kept them that way. I felt a boot at my ribs. I felt it over and over and over again. I kept my eyes shut. I knew now that it started this time it wasn't going to stop. This was the end and I welcomed it with open arms.

_I'm coming mum, I'm finally coming, we'll be together again._

I could feel the blood running down my face as his steel toe-capped boot collided with my head. I didn't scream, I didn't utter a word. I lay and I took it. I felt dizzy and I felt sick. My head was spinning. Charlie had kicked every inch of me and I was scared of what was coming next. I knew today would be the day that I died. I kept my eyes shut still as I felt him grab my hair. I was being dragged but where I did not know, I didn't care.

I heard a loud bang, but I felt no pain. Was I dead? I heard more loud bangs but I kept my eyes shut. It was then I heard it, him. He was here. I wasn't sure why, I wasn't sure if I was imagining the voice, but I listened. I couldn't make out the words he said, I couldn't make out anything at all. I tried to open my eyes but everything was blurry, I heard a final bang. I knew I was going to be unconscious soon and I wondered if I would ever wake up. If this was the end. The last thing I heard was a scream, a loud blood curling scream, it took me a while to realize where it had came from. It had came from me.

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**A/N - Push the green button and type some words :D pretty please (:**


	20. Chapter 20 Peace

**A/N - Sorry for the cliffhanger on the last chapter guys lol (: Review please! Ideas for what to do next? Emmett & Rose will be in the story more & Jasper will be making an appearence (: Got to love Jasper (: ! Jacob may be making an appearance as well but don't worry this is a Bella&Edward story !! (:**

CHAPTER 20 – Peace

**Edward pov**

I lay on the floor holding Bella waiting for the ambulance. Bella was unconscious and I wasn't sure if she was breathing or not. There was a pool of blood surrounding her. I was shitting myself.

_Is she dead? What if she doesn't wake up?_

I felt like shit. My eyes were shutting and I was struggling to keep them open. Charlie had managed to get a few blows into my ribs and the pain was excruciating. I couldn't see Charlie from where I lay; I didn't know how long I had lain there. I felt dizzy. I was trying to feel Bella's pulse but I couldn't reach and it was too painful to move. I couldn't hear any noises to imply the ambulance was near, but I called my father.

_It should be here by now, what's taking so long?_

I knew I could be an asshole, but dad wouldn't not send an ambulance, would he? I reached for my phone. I could feel the pain coming from my ribs as I struggled to get it out of my pocket. I punched my dad's number into the phone but it just rang and rang. I was starting to freak out. Bella hadn't moved. I could still hear the scream she let out. I knew she was in pain but I wasn't sure of the extent of the damage. I wanted to kill Charlie. If he hadn't gotten a dig to my ribs I would've. I might have, I hadn't heard any sounds coming from him, or saw any movement.

**Bella pov**

I could hear beeping noises and hear voices. The voices weren't making sense to my ears. I didn't know where I was. Was I dead? I thought about my life so far, I had so much I wanted to do. So much I never would get to do. I wanted to grow up. I wanted to someday have a family. I wanted so much, but it was too late for me now. I would never get to experience things that normal teenagers experienced. I wondered if anyone would miss me, if they would care, but I knew they wouldn't, no one would. I doubted anyone would realize I was gone.

_Edward!_

Edward had come. Did he care? Was he hurt? Was he dead too? The beeping noises were getting louder as I pondered the well being of Edward. The voices in my head were getting clearer but I still couldn't make them out.

"She's awake." It was Carlisle.

I tried to open my eyes, but they felt heavy. I felt pain shooting through my body and I bit on my lip to stop myself from screaming.

_I'm alive._

"Bella," I felt relief wash over me as I heard Edwards voice, it was strained slightly but it was his voice. "If you can hear me squeeze my hand." I squeezed his hand with as much strength as I could muster. "Bella, you've had stitches to your head, you've got 2 cracked ribs and Bella, you were, you were pregnant Bella, you weren't far along, but you lost the baby. You're going to be ok, we don't know where Charlie is, he disappeared; but we will find him. I promise." I squeezed Edwards hand as tight as I could. I was pregnant? I had lost the baby? It was as if it was a set of keys, or my mobile, I had lost it. Lost it. It was gone. I didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl, it was simply just an 'it'. I had always dreamed of one day having a child of my own. I just didn't expect to get pregnant as a product of rape. I didn't expect to lose the baby. I had so many emotions running through me. I didn't know what to feel. Should I feel angry that he got me pregnant? Should I feel despair at the thought of losing my child? Should I feel relief that I don't have to bring up his child? Should I feel guilty for thinking I should be relieved at the thought of losing my child? The truth was I didn't know what to feel. I wanted to curl up and die but I wanted to live. I was so confused.

**Edward pov**

I had a bandage wrapped around my cracked rib but I was more worried about Bella. We had taken her home from the hospital figuring she would feel better that way. Dad was here anyway if she needed medical attention. Dad had said that she had spent most of her life being in and out the hospital so he thought she would prefer to stay at ours. I disagreed thinking the hospital would be more familiar to her but I didn't voice my opinion.

The days went past and Bella just lay in my bed, she didn't want to move, she didn't try. She let Alice help her to the toilet and help her wash, sometimes Kaycee would help and sometimes she would let my mum but that was the only time she moved. She didn't utter a word, she was like a zombie.

I didn't know what the fuck I was supposed to say, what I was supposed to do. Mum let her be, but I could tell dad was really worried. It was as if she was fading away in front of me, she wouldn't eat, she hardly slept, she didn't speak. It was scaring the shit out of me. She was just there.

We were both staying off school for the time being. She wasn't able to go to school and even though I was I stayed off to look after her, not that she let me.

"How about I make you some toast?" I asked her.

"Hmm." Was the reply. That was the only reply I got these days. I wished I could snap her out of it, say something to break her out of it. She was lifeless. Existing, but not living. If I would've had to hazard a guess I would've guessed that that was the way her whole life up to now had been. An existence, not a life. I felt sorry for her. It was just shit.

_How profound Edward._

It was true though. Life was shit, life is shit. Mum liked to be all philosophical and shit and would say things like 'life is what you make of it' but that was bullshit. You were either lucky in life or you fucking weren't, simple. Bella it seemed was unlucky. She was troubled. I had always deemed myself in that category. I didn't appreciate how good I had shit. I had security, a roof over my head, food, and money. I had whatever I wanted and Bella had nothing.

I wondered about the stories going around school. I hadn't really spoken to anyone since that day. Mike had knocked on the door that night. I had taken great pleasure in telling him Bella couldn't make their date. I did feel kind of bad for the guy but it wasn't my problem. He had seen the bandages as I wasn't wearing a top when I answered the door but he didn't ask. He knew better than to ask. He made a small fuss but when he realised he wasn't going to see her he left. I watched him retreat down the driveway towards his car. I watched till he was gone. I told Bella about it that night, but she didn't seem to notice. She didn't seem to notice anything. I wanted to console her, to tell her everything was going to be ok, but I didn't know if it was or not.

_That's it! She thinks once the projects over she'll no longer be welcome here, she won't have a home._

I didn't know how to tell her without letting her know I knew what she was thinking. I didn't know if it was what she was thinking, it was just my theory.

"Bella, were going to have to go pick up the rest of your stuff soon?" I made it out like a question rather than telling her what to do. I wasn't good in these types of situations. Alice had been giving me a hard time since what happened but that was Alice, I wished that she was here now she would know exactly what to say.

"What?" It was the most she had spoken in days. I took her hands and looked into her eyes as I told her, "Bella, you'll be living here now, with us. This is your home now."

She looked confused as if I had just told her some fucking complicated shit. She looked so lost I didn't know what to say, or if I had said the right thing.

"Oh Edward." She wrapped her tiny arms around my neck. It wasn't an easy fucking task given the injuries. "I can stay? I can really stay?" She asked, I could hear the shyness in her voice. I could hear the fear of rejection. I smiled at her in a sign of reassurance or whatever. "Where the fuck did you think you were going to stay?" I asked her. She just shrugged her shoulders which looked like a fucking sore thing to do. I gave her another cuddle, which was something I just didn't do, but I could be fucking sensitive, she deserved a bit of sensitivity after what she had been through.

"I never told you how thankful I am to you for coming to my rescue; I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you." I was gobsmacked; I hadn't seen it that way. I didn't think of myself as a hero, I couldn't have left her to die. No one would have let her die. I just got there first.

"Bella, anyone would have done the same, I'm no hero." I didn't want her to treat me any differently just because of what I had done.

"No one would have done that for me. I'm no one." I looked at her face as she said they words. She was right; no one would have done that for her because no one knew. No one knew the real her or what she had been through.

"Come on!" I told her. She looked at me as though I had grown two heads. Maybe I had. I helped her up and half carried her down the stairs. She didn't look as if she was in pain so I continued leading her out to my car and helping her in.

It took me five minutes to get where I was taking her. I stopped the car and looked at her face, she was utterly confused but she didn't question me, she followed me blindly, it was obvious that she trusted me, and I was actually quite grateful. I didn't know who I was anymore. I had brought her to the place Alice and I had come to when we were kids. When it was her and I against the world. When nothing else had mattered. I got out the car and opened the passenger side for her. I led her out behind the trees to the meadow. It was exactly as I remembered. There were wild flowers everywhere. Pink, purple, blue, orange, there was every colour. It resembled a water colour portrait. It was simple and beautiful. It was just like Bella. She looked out in awe as I let go of her hand. She kicked off the shoes I had helped her slip her feet into and walked about feeling the grass on her toes. I smiled. The meadow was calming, it was like therapeutic or some shit like that. I could see it had that same effect on Bella. It was only Alice and I that knew about this place. It was only us that had ever been here. I don't know why I was sharing it with Bella, but I was. I helped her sit down and watched as she looked around in wonder. Her brown eyes were glowing in the sun. I took my top off and lay down beside where she sat. My ribs were sore and the grass seemed to erase the pain. I felt Bella's hand run along my bandage; she was being gentle and careful. I could feel her eyes on my body and I wondered if she liked what she saw. One look at her face told me she did. It was as though she was mesmerized. She lay down beside me with a little help and I took her hand. I could have lay there for hours without a worry or a care. I picked a pink flower and placed it delicately in her brown waves. She laughed and did the same to me with a blue flower. I expected it just to fall but it settled itself on my bronze mess. I laughed. It was nice to be carefree, to have no worries. To just be. It was peaceful. She laid her head on my chest tracing the muscles on my arm with her fingers. I closed my eyes and let the feeling overtake me. I could feel her gentle touch and it was fucking sensual. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know what time it was. Nothing mattered. I ran my fingers through her hair, playing with it in my fingers. She tilted her head up to look at me and I opened my eyes. I stared into her eyes trying to read the emotion on her face; it was registering an emotion I didn't know. I wanted to know what she was thinking. I wanted to know what she feeling. I watched her face get closer as she pressed her lips against mine. I went with it kissing her back. I gently licked her bottom lip silently asking for entry. I felt her lips part and I massaged her tongue with mine deepening the kiss. Her fingers had move to my chest, drawing patterns. I did the same to her back and I heard a small moan. This made me groan as my dick started hardening. It had been a while since I had gotten my dick wet and I longed for it. I felt her body pressing closer against me. I knew she wasn't in as much pain, but she was still sore and I didn't want to hurt her. I went to pull back to ask if she was ok but she didn't let me, she deepened the kiss even more. I held her closer to me and I heard her moan. I wondered briefly if I had hurt her before I realized where my dick was positioned. I had rubbed up against her sweet little pussy and she had liked it. I moved my hips grazing the same spot and she moaned again. Her breathing was getting heavier. I could feel her legs shaking slightly. She was turned on almost as much as me.

We had to stop. I knew we had to stop. It was wrong.

_How? How is it wrong?_

I couldn't do this, we couldn't do this, could we?


	21. Chapter 21 Where Do We Go From Here?

**A/N - Review Review Review Review! Please Please Please Please!**

CHAPTER 21 – WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

**Bella pov**

I felt as though I was suffocating. I felt like my air supply had been cut off. I was being slowly dragged into the darkness. There was nothing in front of me but a black hole. An abyss I was being sucked into. There was nothing.

I didn't know who I was. I didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. I had no one. I had nothing. I longed for my mother. I would give anything to see her smile, her face, to hear her reassuring words. She always knew the right things to say. She was erratic but she was wise. She had so much life in her, so much life that was taken away. It wasn't fair. Why was I here and she wasn't? That wasn't how it was supposed to be.

I looked at Edward. I envied him. He had everything. He had a family, a real family. They may have squabbles and differences but that was a family to me, a real family. Real families weren't perfect, they had lots of imperfections but they worked them out and understood. They may have fights but at the worst times they were a unit, they stuck together. I had never had that, not with Charlie. I didn't want sympathy or charity; I had too much sympathy for myself.

I didn't want to speak to anyone. I was grateful that they had saved my life. I was scared though scared of the future of what was to come. I was scared of everything and I was scared of nothing. I was confused. I felt as though my vision was blurry. I couldn't see clear, everything seemed so far away, so out of reach. It was as though I was dead. It was as though I was trapped. I had felt trapped with Charlie. He had ruled my life. He had owned me. I was his possession, his slave. I was free now, but I had nowhere to go.

I had always dreamed of being free of Charlie, of having a life of my own. I had never once thought about what I would do when I was free. I hadn't thought about where I would go. I had no other family. I had nowhere to live, nowhere to go. I was alone. I had always felt alone. Lost. Now I was. My little piece of heaven had turned dark. My future suddenly seemed empty, seemed pointless. Why did Edward save me? If he would have let me die, I could have been with my mother right now, I could be somewhere I was wanted, somewhere I was loved. I knew my thinking was irrational. I knew I was glad to be alive. I wanted to experience so much in life, and I was going to start as soon as I could. I couldn't help the thoughts that would come though, the thoughts of longing. I longed for acceptance. I longed for love. There was only one person that had ever given me any sort of affection. The person that was gone. Like the baby that was once in my stomach, she was lost. She was a lost soul, but she was free. I was forever trapped in a world that didn't want me.

Edward had stayed nearby babysitting me. I knew what doctor Carlisle thought. He knew about the depression eating away inside of me. That was the reason Edward watched my every move. I wasn't sure if Edward was aware why he was doing it, but he did it. He asked me the same inane questions every day, questions about food, questions that held no importance. I hummed in response, he would make me the food whether I gave him a full answer or not. I felt guilty acting so cold towards the person that had saved my life. It was a duty though. It wasn't because he actually cared. Why would he? I was a plain girl with no prospects. I was nothing, no one. I didn't deserve the hospitality, I didn't deserve anything.

I heard him mutter something about collecting the rest of my stuff. This confused me. Where would we be collecting my things from? I had no things except for the few things I had in Charlie's home. I had some clothes and a few personal possessions that I had took when my mother had died. Surely he didn't mean to take the things from there? I didn't have anywhere to put them to take them too. I hadn't expected him to say that. It had been a few days, I was healing but I was still a little sore sometimes. I didn't think I would have to leave now. I didn't think they would make me leave straight away. I had nowhere to go. I asked him what he meant playing dumb. I was scared of the answer. I didn't have a reason to be. He said the last thing I expected. He had said I was to stay. To live here. I ran the words around my head trying to make sense of them. How could that be? Surely they didn't want me to stay? Why would they want me to stay?

I couldn't tell if he meant it from his face. He never seemed to show any emotions. I looked into his eyes and asked him straight out if I could stay. I wrapped my arms around him as he asked me where else I would go. It was as if he had read my mind. I was so grateful. I was a part of a family, a real family.

That was when Edward took me to the meadow. The most beautiful place I had ever been. It was covered in the most beautiful flowers. I had never seen anywhere like it, I had never been anywhere like it. I don't know what made me kiss Edward that day. It could have been the gratitude I felt to him for saving my life and for inviting me to live at his house. It could have been in tune with my new plan to experience as much as possible as soon as I could. If I had to guess the exact reason though I would chalk it up to my new found realization. The fact that I loved him. I hated that I did, he wasn't the type of person I wanted to give my heart too, but I had.

_I guess you can't help who you love._

I knew it would be wise to stop. I could feel his hard on rub against me. I could hear the change in my breathing as it started to get heavier. I gripped his hair tightly as I pushed myself against him. I felt a desire I had never felt. I could hear noises coming from me that I had never made. I could hear him groan in my mouth. I welcomed the feelings. I took the bulge he had in my hand. I rubbed it gently on the outside of his jeans. I could still picture how big it was from the day he had dropped his towel. I could picture the thickness and it scared me. I didn't have much time to think about it as he started massaging my breasts. The feeling was electrifying. It was as though there were a thousand volts of electricity going through my body. I felt a connection I had never felt. I wondered if he felt the same. I felt him unclip my bra with ease. I lifted my hands up allowing him to relieve me of the top I wore. My bra straps slipped down my arms as I was exposed in front of him. I heard him gasp as he removed his mouth from mine, but I kept my eyes closed. I felt his fingers graze over my nipples and I jumped slightly at the sensation. I was still fondling his bulge; it was growing harder under my touch. I could feel wetness seeping from my lower body. I opened my eyes seeing my desire I felt mirrored in the god before me's eyes. I unbuttoned the first button of his jeans easily keeping eye contact with him as I did. I could feel his hands moving over my nipples as he moved from beneath me. He laid me on the grass with ease kissing my lips once more. His lips moved down my neck sending shivers down my spine. I had Goosebumps all over my body. I closed my eyes as his lips made their way to my breasts, his tongue kissing, licking, sucking, nibbling at my nipples. I moaned. His mouth made its way down my tummy, his tongue dipping inside my navel making my hips move. He licked along the waistband of the jogging bottoms I wore as my fingers found their way to his hair, untangling the gorgeous bronze. He looked into my eyes as he tugged at my bottoms. I lifted my ass slightly allowing him to take them down. He took them down slowly kissing the inside of my thigh as he did. I was conscious of the fact that all I wore was my panties. I felt insecure and unworthy. The look Edward was giving me was full of desire, full of appreciation. I closed my eyes as I felt his fingers touch what little bit of fabric I had covering me. I could feel the wetness multiplying at his touch. He grazed a finger over my clit making my hips buck. I was whimpering but I couldn't stop. The feeling was intense. I moaned as his fingers made circular motions. My legs opened for him. He planted a kiss on the fabric before gently pulling it down my legs. I lay there completely exposed. Edward's eyes taking in my naked form. He took in a deep breath as my cheeks began to redden. I felt as though I had been lying there for hours, his eyes studying me. He slipped a finger inside me making me gasp. His other hand was roaming around my body but his eyes were on mine.

"I want you." I whispered. My voice was thick with lust.

I heard him groan at my words. He slipped his jeans down his legs, followed by his boxers. His erection was huge.

"Will you hurt me?" I asked. He shook his head as his fingers went back to my lower body. I moaned softly as his fingers entered me.

"You're so wet, so tight."

I felt him press up against my entrance as he slowly entered me. I cried out as he filled me up. I wrapped my legs tightly around his back as he moved himself in and out of me. I had never felt so good in my life. I was squirming under his body. I no longer had control as the noises escaped my lips. I heard him groan over and over. His fingers made their way to my clitoris again making me cry out louder and louder till I felt my whole body tense up. I felt as though I was going to explode as my body shook, my hips moving along with Edwards. I screamed out in orgasm before Edward pulled out of me.

"I love you." I whispered getting caught up in the moment. The last thing I expected was what happened next.

"I love you too."


	22. Chapter 22 Hot chocolate

**A/N - Sorry it's been so long! It's been a crazy time lately. I've been in hospital having surgery and started a new job and all sorts lately! Had this chapter wrote for a while not entirely happy with it! Let me know what u think and if you have any ideas for my next chapter please :)! REVIEW LIKE MADDD :D! **

CHAPTER 22 -

**Bella pov**

"I..we.." I trailed off. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't think let alone process words. My mind was full of jumble. I had given myself to Edward. I had given myself to him willingly. I had even instigated what had happened. I had told him I loved him. He had said it back though. Surely that was a joke? A trick?

_He said it after he made love to you._

It was then it dawned on me. Edward had made love to me. It was gentle and careful and nice. I didn't feel that dirty cheap nasty way I had felt when it was James. It wasn't just sex, was it? I had little experience in that department, I honestly didn't know. How could I trust the boy who had made my life a misery?

_He saved your life._

I didn't know what to do. What to say. Edward looked as though he was trying to form the right words in his head. I couldn't even make my brain comprehend what had happened. I lightly pinched my arm expecting to wake up. This couldn't be real, could it?

_Ouch!_

It wasn't just the pinch that had hurt though I was sure it would leave a bruise. I bruised very easily, I liked to blame it on the pale skin, but I wasn't sure of the reason. I felt my ribs tightening as though I had just been kicked.

Edward was silent though I could tell he had seen the expression of pain written all over my face. I never was good at hiding my feelings. I was an open book, my thoughts seemed to always be displayed on my face. It gave a new meaning to the expression 'wearing your heart on your sleeve.' I winced as I felt another shoot of pain.

I wasn't sure of the time, but it was starting to get dark. I wanted to leave but I couldn't seem to form the words. Luckily Edward decided to wake up a little. He helped me into my clothes as the rain graced us with its presence.

_Typical._

In a way it was fitting. After all, didn't something or someone always rain on my parade? I wasn't sure what to make of what had happened after my brain began to realize I was indeed awake.

"Are you ok?" Edward sounded worried. I nodded slowly as the pain seemed to have subsided a little. It was still sore but more of a dull pain compared to the shooting pain I had experienced a moment ago. He didn't look convinced but he gave me a half hearted smile and carefully picked me up, once he had dressed, and he carried me back to his car. He tilted the passenger seat back slightly allowing me to lie back. I was grateful, but a little of unsure of what to make of recent events. I wondered what it meant as he drove in silence back to his house.

**Edward pov**

"I..we.." Bella had started. It was more than I could think let alone speak. I had moaned and moaned about how little she had spoke over the last few days and here I was unable to find my own words. What do you say to the girl you had tortured countless amount of times after you make love to her?

_Make love?_

I had made love to her. I had never made love to any girl. It wasn't my style, I liked to fuck girls not get caught up in emotions and pointless shit like that. I had even told her I loved her. I didn't think about it, the words were out before I could stop them. I couldn't fucking take them back now, I didn't know what to say at all. I racked my brain to come up with anything, anything at all.

Bella was silent, she looked lost in her own thoughts. I wondered what she was thinking, feeling. I looked into her eyes to see them full of pain, I wasn't sure if I had hurt her, or if she was regretting what had happened, or if it was her injuries. I couldn't form the words to ask.

The darkness had seemed to fade in slowly and I wondered the time. I looked at Bella, still wearing the same pained expression. My instincts kicked in as I gathered her clothes and helped her put them on. The rain had started as I was half way through, soaking my naked body. Bella didn't seem to notice, looking too lost in her own thoughts.

"Are you ok?" I asked her as my brain finally began functioning. She nodded slowly but her expression never changed. I tried to smile at her, re-assurance and shit, but I couldn't quite manage.

I carried her to the car, being careful not to hurt her. I re-adjusted the seat to make her more comfortable. I couldn't help wonder why as I never adjusted my Volvo for anyone. My Volvo was the most important thing to me. The look of gratitude on her face was enough to stop the wondering.

_Maybe I do love her?_

It came out as a question in my own mind. Why had I said it then? Why did things have to be so fucking complicated. I thought about what was going to happen now as I drove in silence to the house.

"Where have you been?" The instigation started as we walked through the front door.

"Oh you poor dears, you're soaked right through." My mother pitched in leading us into the 'family room.' She wrapped blankets around us and announced she was going to make us some hot chocolate. My father stood waiting on an explanation as we were fussed over.

"It was my-my fault." Bella stuttered out looking sheepish. The blush had appeared on her face as she looked down at her feet.

"I-I-I asked Edward if we could go out, I needed some fresh air, I persuaded him to take us away from the house, we didn't realize it was getting late and then the rain came on and we hurried back to the car."

I knew from experience that she was a terrible liar, but she managed to sound so convincing I almost believed her myself.

Carlisle looked at her sympathetically nodding in understanding. I couldn't fucking believe it. If I had said that I had wanted some fresh air and she had accompanied me it would be a big fucking deal! I was fucking sick of getting the blame of all the shit that went on inside closed doors. I was the big bad ass, even Emmett who had fucked up enough to plant a bun in Fucking Rosalie Hale's oven had been treated with some consideration. I was the fuck up. I stormed away to my room without a glance back.

_Fuck the hot chocolate. Fuck everything. _

I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch something. I wanted to do anything to relieve myself of the anger bubbling inside of me. I heard a timid knock on the door as I kicked my shoes at the wall.

"It's your fucking room as well!" I snapped as Bella entered. She handed me my hot chocolate carefully obviously trying not to spill it. I couldn't help feeling bad. It wasn't her fault. She had just stuck up for me. She had given herself to me. I couldn't be a dick.

"I'm sorry." I practically whispered the words as she was retreating back out the door. She paused at the door way turning to look at me with they brown eyes. She stood for what felt like ages until I patted the bed next to me. She reluctantly joined me sitting her own mug on the beside table. I flashed my trademark smile at her. I had no ulterior motive other than to show her that I was sorry. She smiled back laying her head on my chest.

I went over the events of earlier in my head. I replayed the scene over and over again. There was no doubt about it she was beautiful. So fucking sexy. Nothing could have prepared me for her perfectly proportioned tits. They were perky and perfect. She was wonderful. I didn't understand how I hadn't seen it before, but I only saw what I wanted. I lived in my own world. I was arrogant and cocky. I never let anyone in.

Alice had tried to reach me, but it was pointless, no one could reach me any more. I had put up a shield long ago and the barriers were so strong I doubted I could break out never mind anyone break in. I watched as Bella took a sip of her hot chocolate, she looked content enough, but I could see the worry buried underneath.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Nothing." She smiled whilst tickling my sides.

"Ow, ow, ow!" She squealed holding her side. Had she not been laughing through the tears I might have been worried. It was nice to see her laugh. I flashed her my trademark smile and watched as her lovely blush appeared on her cheeks.

_Lovely? Really Edward get a grip!_

"Oh so it's like that is it?" I said. I picked her up gently, making sure she had sat her hot chocolate down first. She was giggling before I had even moved. I placed her gently in the middle of the bed securing her there with my legs and pinning her hands gently with mine. She looked up at me all signs of humour removed from her face. I smiled at her as I leaned down closer. Just as my lips were about to reach hers I let my hand slip down to her knee tickling her gently. She giggled loudly into my mouth playfully slapping me with the hand I had let go. I laughed with her rolling onto the bed beside her. We must have lay there for at least five minutes, but it felt like hours. We never said a word to each other just lay in comfortable silence. I could tell she was smiling without even looking at her. It was weird to me how connected I felt to her, I could tell what she was feeling what she was doing without looking at her or asking her. What was wrong with me? Who was this person I was slowly becoming?

I felt Bella move beside me. I could hear her drinking her hot chocolate and I could practically feel her discomfort rolling off her in waves. It amazed me how little confidence she had in herself. I sat up and tried to smile at her, she looked so vulnerable.

_I promise you Bella, I'll fix things. I'll make things right again if it's the last thing I do. _

I smiled at her once more. "Let's go to bed."


	23. Sorry

Hi guys, I'm really sorry I've not got around to writing lately. In my defence I have been in and out of hospital so much over the last year I thought I was going to become part of the furniture, but I'm back and writing again. No more excuses! I have recently started a blog just to get my inner ramblings out there. You can view that at sweetcheeks666x . blogspot . com if you want to. I will be starting a new blog with all my stories and updating them regularly as well as updating here. I'm almost finished the next chapter of all of them and hope to get them up either tomorrow or the next day. I promise they will be up for Friday and one thing I don't do is break promises! I hope I do still have some readers and again I apologise for taking so long! :)


	24. Coming Soon

Hey guys! I appreciate the patience! I've finished updating my blog, the links on my profile! I'll be updating it continually with chapters and other extra stuff to do with the story. I'll have the next chapter up tonight on here at some point, it's already updated on my blog. I'll try update at least once every two days until the stories finished :) Thanks for your patience.


	25. Chapter 23 Reality

**A/N - Hey guys, finally new chapter up! Hope you like it and hope it was worth the wait :P Will be more coming soon working on the next chapter just now! Well review and let me know what u think :)!**

Reality

**Edward Pov**

I awoke the next morning alone. The bed was made and Bella was nowhere to be seen. I looked at my clock displaying the time to be just after 10am. Where is she? I wondered. I crawled off my couch and made my way downstairs, running my fingers through my hair as I did so. It was a habit of mine that infuriated Alice. I searched around the house for her but came up short. It wasn't till I was making my way back up stairs I saw her. I moved closer to the glass panel windows to get a better look. She lay on the grass wearing the tiniest fucking shorts I have ever seen, and I've seen short, and a baggy t-shirt tied at the waist. She had a book in her hands that she was studying intently, she looked so natural as if she belonged. As if she was always here, but she wasn't always here. As I stood watching her I thought about how it would feel to be her which is shit I just don't do. It was getting too much for me being around her. She was always there, and right ok so she did live here too now and we did share a room and yes I am the one going about the house looking for her, but Charlie's still out there and he could come back for her at any time. I'm just being careful, that's all. I felt guilty for what had happened the day before. I mean fuck she was raped and then we.. but it's done and I can't do shit about it now. I made my way back up stairs and got dressed. My wounds were almost healed and Bella's were a lot less sore. We would be back to school soon, back to normal. In a way I was dreading going back. I didn't know what shit was being said about what happened. I'd had a few texts and a few calls just to update me on the gossip, but no one mentioned anything about me not being there or little miss goody too shoes either. I was surprised. I was sure Newton would have at least mentioned about the bandages but as far as I could tell, nobody knew. Kaycee was back at student housing today which meant Bella was back in with Alice tonight. I finally got my own fucking room back and everything can just go back to the way it was. It's better for everybody that way. I don't need to look like a dick being all considerate and shit, Bella can start again do what she likes. Everybody's happy. I wasn't going to treat her like shit any more and we still had a project to finish and shit but we run in completely different circles, we couldn't be friends. Just as I was walking out the door Bella had started walking in. If she'd have stopped reading her book and fucking paid attention we wouldn't have almost banged into each other. She looked up completely oblivious and smiled at me. "I..I thought we could work on our project today since were nearly back and we'll have to do it at some point." She said with a smile on her face. Of course she was still miss goody too shoes that hadn't changed over night and of course she wanted to have everything done. "Whatever." I said in response as I walked past her to the stairs. "Like we could work on it just now?" She said as more of a question than telling me. "Put some clothes on first, you look indecent." I didn't really mean it how it sounded but I'm a warm blooded male and less clothes is a distraction. I didn't look back as I walked down the stairs. It was easier that Bella realize now that this friendship, bond, whatever the fuck we had formed wasn't going to work out. I knew it was harsh but she had to learn. That's just the way my world works. She came into the kitchen not long later with jeans and a baggy jumped on. I told her to put more clothes on not look as frumpy as possible. It was the only clothes of her own she had here and she was wearing them instead of Alice's. She completely confused me in every way she was so different from what I first thought but so much the same. Everything she does is completely the opposite of what you think she'll do, she constantly surprises you. Her face was emotionless, cold, hard. I hadn't seen this look before, I could normally read some kind of emotion in her face but it was like looking at an empty shell. "So were making soup as our starter. I thought lentil would be easier. I asked your mum to get the ingredients for us so we have everything we need. Can you cut up the vegetables and I'll boil the water and put the stock in?" She said everything so matter of fact no feeling behind it, and she was moving around as though lifeless. I wondered briefly what the fuck had got her acting so strange when she pressed a knife into my hand before turning and doing what she was doing. I started chopping shit up as instructed as she poured orange shit into the pot, I didn't have a fucking clue what she was doing and to be honest I didn't really care. I wanted to pass the project though and the only way I could was with her teaching me so I followed everything she told me to do. In the end we made a pretty fucking good soup if I do say so myself. Even my mum commented on how good it was. That night I was laying in bed watching two and a half men laughing my ass of at Charlie Sheen, the man truly was a legend, when Bella walked in. "What do you want?" I asked automatically. "I..I..well I.." For fucks sake. "Spit it out!" I prompted her. She looked close to tears and I instantly felt bad. I wasn't trying to be cruel or nasty towards her but she seemed to bring out the worst in me. "Look I'm sorry," I said. "Is there something you wanted?" "I.. well I want to go to bed." I looked at her in confusion. "Well go to bed then." Wasn't that the most obvious thing to do? She started making her way over to my couch when it dawned on me what she meant. "Bella, you do realize now that Kay's back at her dorm your back in Alice's room now." I told her explaining it slowly, how could someone so smart be so dumb. "Oh right, ok." She muttered, her face turning the usual colour of beetroot red, as she slipped back out the room. I watched the door for a few minutes after she left. I crept up slowly and quietly across the hall to Alice's room and put my ear up against the door. I half expected Alice to catch me again but after a few minutes I heard talking. "Alice, why is Edward, you know, the way he erm is?" "You mean a jackass?" Alice laughed. "Well yeah?" "That's just Edward, Bella, he only cares about himself and nothing and no one else is important." "I don't think he means it. I think deep down he does care, he just doesn't know how." Bella's last statement stayed in my head for days after I heard it. Was that the truth? Did I care but just didn't know how to show it? Is that why I lashed out? I was driving myself crazy thinking about it and the rest of the time I was cooking with Bella. I hardly spoke to her at all, the only conversation between us in days was her telling me what to do and me asking when I fucked it up. Her and Alice seemed to be getting along really well but when she wasn't laughing with Alice about something she was quiet, subdued. It was like she was two different people sometimes. We were both going back to school the next day and Bella had me as prepared as I ever would be for our project. I wasn't sure if I would have to cook tomorrow or if we would even get excused. Maybe it would be postponed for a couple of weeks, either way I knew my shit and I actually felt good being prepared.

**Bella Pov**

I woke up early the next day. Edward was breathing heavily in his sleep, he looked so peaceful and I didn't want to disturb him. I saw the Romeo and Juliet book we studied last year for English on his shelf and decided to borrow it. I made my way outside and just lay down on the grass enjoying the light sunshine in the sky. It was rare to have sun in Forks and I thought I'd make the most of it. I lay reading for what felt like five minutes but it must have been hours. I started making my way back inside to get dressed. I was too engrossed in my reading I almost walked straight into Edward coming out of his room. Our room. It was hard to wrap my head around that. I had asked Esme a few days earlier if she could get the ingredients we needed for out project so we could start preparing before we went back to school. Of course she agreed and stocked the cupboards with everything we needed. I asked Edward if we could practice and his response was very short. It seemed as though he had changed. Last night he was so sweet and kind and different to the person I thought he was. I had given myself to him, my whole self, not just my body but my heart as well and now it was as if he had completely forgotten what had happened between us. Hadn't he felt what I felt he had said he loved me too. Surly that meant something. "Like we could work on it just now?" I prompted him. I thought he was maybe distracted by something and that's why he was being different but his response told me otherwise. "Put some clothes on first, you look indecent." Of course that's why he was acting different. Last night he was being nice because of what had happened. Now he didn't need to pretend, I wasn't good enough for him. I wasn't experienced enough. My body wasn't what he wanted, wasn't nice enough. I felt the tears on my face before I even registered I was crying. I felt like my heart was being ripped in two. As if I'd just lost a part of my soul. I wiped at my face furiously with the back of my hand. No Bella. I wasn't going to be one of those girls, I wasn't going to cry over Edward Cullen. I'd been through too much already to let this get me down. I put my own clothes on, suddenly not wanting to tarnish Alice's clothes with my impurities. I felt cheap and nasty and it only fitted that I looked the part too. I could tell Edward was shocked at my appearance when he saw me. It was who I was. Removing me from Charlie's house and putting me here didn't make a difference to the person I was. The person I am. It's a different house, a different life, but I've not changed. I told Edward what to do and pretty much bossed him around apart from that I never uttered a word. If he wanted it to be this way then this was the way it would be. Later on that night I was getting tired. I had spent time with Alice watching T.V in the family room and I was beat. I told her I was going to bed and made my way upstairs. I went into the bathroom to change into my night clothes and made my way into Edwards room. Edward looked surprised to see me which was odd given that we shared a room. "What do you want?" He spat at me. I stuttered trying to reply, wasn't it obvious what I wanted? I told him I wanted to go to bed and started making my way over to the couch assuming he wanted his bed back. He explained about Kaycee and that I was back sharing a room with Alice and I left blushing furiously. When I got into Alice's room she was already there. "Alice can I ask you something?" I started. I had grown really fond of Alice from my time staying here and she had became like a friend to me. "Of course, you can ask anything." She replied. "Alice, why is Edward, you know, the way he erm is?" "You mean a jackass?" She laughed. "Well, yeah?" "That's just Edward, Bella, he only cares about himself and nothing and no one else is important." "I don't think he means it. I think deep down he does care, he just doesn't know how." Alice looked at me for a moment like she was contemplating something. "Bella, you like him don't you?" The blush rising up on my face told her all she needed to know but I answered anyway. "Alice, I think, no I know I'm in love." Alice looked shocked. I suppose I couldn't blame her. I would be shocked too if the roles were reversed. "You love him? Well why don't you do something about it? I mean I honestly don't see what you see but if you do feel that way then go for it." She made it seem so simple but it wasn't simple it was the hardest situation I had ever been in. "Yes, I do. What can I do Alice? He doesn't want to be with someone like me and I don't want to change just to get him." Alice nodded in understanding and we decided to call it a night. Over the next few days I practised cooking constantly and when I wasn't cooking I was doing things with Alice. She liked making me up and I didn't mind letting her as long as she didn't go too overboard. I kept my conversations with Edward as minimal as possible, in fact the only words we shared was me telling him what to do and him swearing every time he did something wrong. Apart from that I stayed completely out of his way. It was killing me inside but I had to. Trying to be something to someone who doesn't want you I did for long enough, and I wasn't going back down that road again. I finally had a future that could be mine I didn't want to waste it. I tried to avoid him as much as possible but living in the same house as him it was nearly impossible. I closed my eyes listening to Alice snore gently beside me. I couldn't believe we had to go back to school tomorrow. I was nervous and anxious and scared and worried and a million more emotions mixed in. I didn't want to go. I knew how people were and I didn't want to be the subject of gossip. I didn't like the attention, I'd much rather stay as far out the spotlight as possible. Who knows maybe nobody will have noticed me gone, maybe it wont be such a big deal. That was the only hope I had to cling on to as I let myself drift off to sleep.


End file.
